We rolled in around 12:20 this morning. My work day started at 9am yesterday. I was anxious to get into the hotel, check out the fitness room and hot tub (please!) and then check into bed. But as the elevator door slid open, I knew this was not going to be one of my top five hotel experiences. The stains on the hallway carpet alone were enough to suggest the mafia'd been here once or twice, but since I'm in Dallas and not KC or Chicago, I guess the help must just spill a lot of coffee.

I found my room at the end of the hall next to some sort of closet. Hmm. The woodwork on all the panelling was coming apart from door frame to floorboards to whatever, and the paint was, well, peeling. I opened my door and noted my 1890s dormitory remodeled 10 times over. And it was freezing. Looked at the heater/air on the wall "Will not affect air, see thermostat on wall." Thermostat found. Set to air-conditioning. Damn.

So I turned it to heat and turned it up. 40 minutes later I'm considering sleeping fully clothed. The air blowing out isn't hot (from me or the supposed heater).

The water in the bathroom is hot though. And it smells like a swimmingpool. The bathroom has been redecorated and is very high tech, complete with a sink that looks like an optical illusion (I actually put my finger into it to make sure it wasn't). The shower looks like tons of fun with a rainfall shower head, and if you ignore the windows typical of a 1920s movie palace dressing room or 14th floor apartment bathroom, it's a pretty positive experience.

So even though my body's cold, my face is warmed by the water and as I close my eyes, I actually feel like I'm in a swimming pool...except I'm not. I'm washing my face. And with what? Chorine? What's in that water?

If you ignore the WC, the room actually reminds me of being in a hotel overseas, Paris maybe. The old building, the wood panelling, modernized with art and a coffee maker. I could handle being in Paris right now.

Instead I'm in a room where the gap between my floor and the bottom of my bedroom door is so significant that any decent sized rat could slide under it, or a person's arm, whichever disturbs you the most.

And the "heater" with cold air just turned off again. Double damn.

I resign myself to sleep. After all, I have to combat the General Baptists of Texas tomorrow. That will require much effort on my part.

So clothes on, I will snuggle under my heavy (literally) blankets and pretend I'm in Paris. Awesome.

Bon nuit.