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Sunday, December 03, 2006

An 1100 square foot house, all yours, ready for the holidays: $106,000

Four strings of white icycle lights that hang from your roof and two strings of blue lights to go around your front windows creating a "warm home covered in snow" look: $52.43

Having outlets installed outside your house so you may plug in and light up aforementioned bulbs: $54.24

Paying the two men you talked into putting in the outlets and nailing up the Christmas lights with a small lunch consisting of mac n cheese, organic frozen vegetables, ready-made Chocolate Chip cookies and beer: $8.73

White string of lights that you tried to throw over the tree to your friend waiting on the other side, but totally missed, crashing the wad of lights in your neighbors driveway, breaking the bulbs and requiring you to decide on a new tactic for hoisting lights high up in the trees while your neighbors snicker from their front porch: $1.99 and 3 advil.

Competing with your new neighbors for who can create the best lit house on the block: priceless.

7 comments:

Drive-Thru Society said...

Your so domestic. Next thing you know you will be married with 2.5 children ! Why else would you be a pastor.

Anonymous said...

My darling Ann,

I'm so proud of you. You understand the real meaning of the holiday season...lights, more lights, and then a few more lights. Always remember, your job is not finished until you have strung lights on every non moving object within sight. Keep on hanging lights until it looks like a "US flight over Baghdad."

With sparkling love,
Clark Griswold

p.s. consistency in color, size, blinking or racing speed is not important

netty_d said...

i need to see a picture for the full effect.

Samuel Gunter said...

Why do you have to be mean and say I suck? I'm going to miss you and definitely miss playing with you, but there is no excuse for rudeness!

;)

Michelle said...

Your neighbors were not snickering. I am actually surprised that Clarence was not over there helping you to Christmas-Commercialize...oops, I mean, decorate your home.

Much love.

Anonymous said...

wow, what a great cook! what yummy food you served those fine (suckers!!) men....

Lauren said...

HA! Reading that first line... I thought you were selling your house!