Wow. After three nights of watching the Democratic National Convention, I actually feel a little inspired and not so panicky.
I'm an anxious person. This is nothing new. One of my best friends in High School used to call me Annxiety. So when I think about America and the world today, I freak out a little.
I'm terrified that Georgia is going to shoot us spiraling into WWIII, I'm worried about where I'll move up north when global warming finally makes Texas heat unbearable. I'm nervous about crime with more and more people out of jobs and needing income from whatever source available. I'm struck by the poverty of where I currently live, the teen pregnancies, the drop-outs, the hookers on the corner and the people in wheelchairs at the stoplights. I remember working at Johnston High and I wonder where we'll be in ten years with the education system we have in America right now. I'm fearful of the gap between the rich and poor. I'm even afraid of losing my job and not having health care and then losing my house even though I know I'm not going to lose my job, but, you know, while we're worrying and everything, "what if..."
And I feel so helpless.
I don't even know how to help my immediate neighbors, let alone my country.
And I generally avoid getting too invested in politics because i worry about rhetoric and how deceitful it can be (i know, i know, i'm a preacher...). But I feel I'm never getting the full story and never know who to trust on the news. And how can we even trust the politicians themselves when they speak because it seems like there are always lies and cover-ups and stuff the public just can't know about?
But, being with my boyfriend who loves politics, I spent many hours watching the DNC this week. Whereas I'd probably just have caught Hillary, Bill, Al and Obama, if I were on my own, I found myself listening to many more - several soldiers, "common people," politicians, wives... it was interesting hearing their stories. Admittedly, while I have had reservations about Obama in the past (for many of the normal reasons), when I heard him speak and actually detail a bit about where he intends to go with his presidency, I actually began to believe him.
I believe him. And I believe in him.
And while I am still startled and scared about the statistics of our nation and world, maybe, just maybe, this is a step in the right direction. Maybe with Obama at the helm and all of us paddling at the stern we can do something. Or are we at the helm and Obama at the stern. Hmm. I know less about boating than I do about politics. But you get the idea.
It will be nice to have a leader we can look up to, and look over at, as we work out together what it looks like to live in this world today...