Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Chris Johnson says I go to church more than the Holy Ghost.

He might be right.

But I love my job. I love it so much, and I know that I am blessed (sorry for sounding so churchy) beyond measure. Holy shit (sorry grandma), I can't even comprehend how many things fell into place and how seriously face-in-the-sand i should be with my reverance towards God.


Isn't that always the case with us humans. But... However... If only...

And I found myself with tears streaming down my face Monday night thinking just these things. Why would God ask me to leave the man I loved to pursue a profession? Why would God bring two people together just to divide them with separate callings? Why give love and then take it away with gifts?

I don't know the answer. And to be quite honest, I realized that in the past two years, I haven't placed much stock in God's presence in my love life. Maybe that's why I've been making the dating decisions I have.

Of course this two years follows the leaving of someone I loved due not to incompatibily of spirits, but incompatibility of professions.

I just hope the members of a certain Christian worship band know that's why. So when they (and you) sing "Glory to Him, He is holy," they know what holiness cost. Love.

Hello and Good-bye. We are called to different lives.

I am Jeremiah. And I may not be called to normalcy. And I may not be called to love. But I am called to preach and "love" under very unique circumstances. And so it goes.

And so it goes.

And You're the only one who knows.


Michelle said...

Ann, when are you going to write a book so I devour it while laughing and crying all at the same time. I am eagerly awaiting many books, one by my husband and one by you.

I can't figure out what to say about the post, it made me sad. I love you annipoo!

lynnette said...

ann, i loved this post. you wrote it so beautifully. i am happy to hear good news about your job. i am sad to hear about love lost...or perhaps more accurately, set aside out of necessity. i don't get it either.