No, Jesus cannot be your boyfriend.
I heard last week at the Current Retreat someone talking about the singles ministry at their church in podunctville, tx (I should have known the story was going downhill). He said that for V-day the ministry was throwing a "Jesus Is My Valentine" party.
No. No. No.
You may not throw a party with that title.
Bad theology. Bad gimmick. Bad idea.
What does that tell singles? "No one wants you but Jesus... lucky you!" "You're too ugly to get a real boyfriend, so you get Jesus!" "That bit about a nice personality doesn't date well, but an invisible savior does!"
I can't believe we buy into that. Jesus is not our lover. Gross. Mary Magdalene's maybe (that's for all the conservatives out there, i'm feeling cantankerous and pushy), but not ours! He's a god, not a boyfriend. We don't snuggle up with God under a plush blanket and watch chick flicks. We don't get flowers from God. We don't kiss God good night. And we sure as hell don't...well...you-know-what with Him.
Yuck. Not to mention that if you call God "Him," you've got a bunch of single men calling God their Valentine. Are we condoning homosexuality now?
Okay, I know. I've crossed the line. It's just that I hate that crap. I hate feel-good, cheesy, substitute-Jesus-for-what-culture-says-I'm-lacking-in crap. It's not right.
Yes, Jesus loves you.
Yes, people love you.
Yes, you are okay single and alone.
Yes, it sucks that your friends are being mushy with their significant others and you're going to watch your 159th episode of Sex in the City. But it's all good. I love Sex in the City.
You are whole. You are unique. You are beautiful. You are ugly. And God loves you (and me) anyway.
Good news for the day of love.