Tuesday, January 01, 2008

New Year's Day

I'm not ready.

I'm still processing Christmas; I'm not ready for New Year's.

There are still so many stories to tell, to laugh at again, to reflect upon. There's family history to scrutinize, presents to put away, cars to wash after the long drive home. I'm not ready for resolutions and reminiscing and black eyed peas.

I'm still in Christmas. I'm not ready to move on yet. The world is moving too fast.

Stop the World I Want to Get Off.

My father met my mother during that show. He was the only man and she played one of the many women. I wonder if they feel like that was just yesterday - if just yesterday they were at Jewell acting in plays - if just yesterday they were taking pictures of newborn Baby Ann - if just yesterday they discovered they were pregnant with Emily - if just yesterday Amy was getting accepted into Med School - if just last week was Christmas and how could it already be all over...

That's how I feel.

I'm not ready for the New Year. 2008, day one, and I'm already behind. Quite an unpleasant feeling actually - or that could be the remains of last night's champagne - something else that managed to sneak up on me. "I know it's the day of, but could I get reservations for dinner tonight?" It's daunting to feel left behind - or at least a day late. The party was yesterday. The wedding was last Saturday. Oh, they moved from this house a long time ago. It's like the rest of the world is progressing and celebrating and embracing newness and success and I'm still staring at the Christmas tree wondering when I'll find time or motivation to take it down.

Dear Santa, for New Year's I don't want something New. I just want to savor what I've Got.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

I am the exact opposite: I am ready for '08 to be almost over.

That way, I am closer to the ones I love. Like you.

And what does a girl gotta do to get a phone call every once in a while?
You don't call, you don't write...