Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Zorba strikes again.


Both the Radster and Zorby have worms so I had to take them to the vet today.

(take a deep breath)

So I've got Zorba in the little white room, waiting to get a pill and a half shoved down his throat. I've already apologetically explained that this cat is not very nice and hates people (except me, of course). So one nurse preps the pill, grabs Zorba and attempts to pop the pill. It's a no-go. Zorba immediately spits it back out. Shocker. Hissing ensues.


(release breath)

Take two. (refill lungs with air, note sweating of palms). So the other nurse grabs Zorba by the scruff of the neck to hold him down while the other re-preps the pill and makes a second attempt to stuff it down Zorba's neck. The pill comes flying back out. "This one's strong," nurse number one says.

I begin apologizing while the exasperated first nurse shoots me a look and coldly explains that if she can't get the pill down, I will have to take it home and crush it in some food. "Okay, sure, no problem. I'm really sorry."

Take three. Nurse number two holds his head back again, explaining to me that this is the way to hold the cat appropriately. Nurse number one grabs Zorby's mouth and shoots the pill down. Score! However, blabbernurse number two, consumed with educating me and not paying attention to attack cat, has released her grip at which point Zorba strikes and scores again. Blood is drawn.

"Shit," nurse number two says.

"Oh Golly, are you okay?"

"Sure I'm fine. Let me just get this blood cleaned up." She blubbers on about how it doesn't hurt and better teeth than claws while nurse number one scolds her for not paying attention. They banter back and forth before resuming position to shove the second half pill down Zorba's throat. It is a quick process with everyone on edge and soon after Zorba splits to hide on the weight machine in the corner of the room. The two nurses ask me to go get the second cat and they leave the room.

I return with Radley and begin to notice how incredibly hot it is in this room. I am sweating profusely while trying to remain calm so Radley doesn't get upset. Zorba is still in the corner hissing to himself.

Nurse one returns with a cat box to put Zorba in and another nurse to replace nurse number two. "I thought I'd bring in someone more experienced for your second cat." She says.

I feel horrible and talk about how Radley is better behaved and really, there won't be any more problems. Of course, there aren't as Radley (after all, no one's ever nicknamed him "satan" or "devil cat"). Nurse one and nurse three pop Radley's two pills (he weighs a little more than Zorba) in seconds flat.

"You may put your two cats in the car and then return to pay," instructs nurse number one. I do so quietly and quickly, strained by the whole ordeal.

Then comes the bad news.

As I'm waiting at the counter, the b*tch nurse (aparently the head nurse) comes over and instructs the secretary to call my vet in Waco to have her fax Zorba's records ASAP to check that his rabees shots are updated. She then proceeds to tell me that because a human was involved in the biting episode, Zorba must be quaranteened, even if he is updated on his shots. If evidence shows that his shots are current, his quaranteen location may be my home. An officer of the Animal Clinic will come to check him out today and then again after 11 days. If however his records show him to be not current on his rabees vaccinations, then I will have to leave him to be observed at a shelter.

Oh Lord.

I nod my head and try to will my eyes not to pop out of my head.

Of course, Zorba's shots are current as they soon discover from the fax but I am still given the number to the TLAC and instructed to call. Once at home with both cats in the house, I call the dreaded TLAC and explain that my cat bit the nurse at the vet. I explain that he is up to date on his shots but that the vet told me to call them. "You need to bring your cats down to register them," the lady on the phone says. "Take them down there and register them as my cats and as updated on their shots?" I repeat to make sure I got it. "Yes," She says. "That's it?" I ask again clarifying the part about the records, tags, etc. "Yep," she says again, annoyed.

So I didn't.

Not today. I was already tired from the biting ordeal and if they aren't going to require me to quaranteen Zorba (since they didn't mention it on the phone), then I figure I can take my time getting down there. Zorba and Radley have been through enough for one day.

Can you imagine what would have happened if some man tried to tinker with Zorba's mouth and butt again today?

I don't even want to.


sourmonkey said...

Wow Ann what an ordeal! Perhaps another clinic might be nice. For crying out loud, do they not know that we get bit and scratched on a regular basis by our cats and if they weren't up on their shots we'd be sick? Do they think we are stupid? I guess some people are or they wouldn't be so anal. Gabe and I still have to take Paradigm in for her shots, shes had her rabies, but not the others and she is not allowed outside until she gets them all. On the other hand updated Abby is sunning herself as we speak. I think she likes to rub it in. I feel for your catcapade as that is exactly what Abby would do if someone tried to shove pills down her throat. Why didn't they just invent a shot? Cats are difficult enough that that would be a priority. Well, until next time!

lynnette said...

i haven't yet had the experience of giving pills to my two little kittens. (they're not so little anymore.) when that day comes, i know which one is more likely to put up a fight...she's got this bad ass image going on. and it will NOT be a fun experience.

Kate said...

I think that any self-respecting cat should put up a fight. Any good cat knows his/her own power. At least Zorba's not a wuss. :-)

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