I just watched In Good Company a great flic with Dennis Quaid and the girl from Girl With A Pearl Earring and Lost In Translation. As I said, it was good. Pretty funny and heartwarming. But if I'm really honest with myself, it gave me anxiety.
I'm only one year older than the kid who gets the big corporate promotion and takes over as Dennis Quaid's boss. He talks about being "scared shitless" and having "no idea what he's doing." He drinks like 8 cups of coffee and then heads a board meeting stuttering and spounting out phrases like "awesome" and "are you totally psyched". It was one of those moments when the audience gets that horrible, stomach turning, I'm-hurting-cause-he's-making-a-fool-of-himself moments. It was Bridget Jones at the microphone introducing Mr. Fittsherbert. And all of the sudden, I experience a rush panic over my body as I realized that could be me in a board room at a church trying to discuss budgets and God and relationships with a group of men who have been "doing church" for years and years.
What am I thinking? I can't do this! I'm a good preacher. I'm a good writer. I'm a good teacher. But I can't "run" a church. I don't know the first thing about that sort of crap. Yeah, I took the classes but, please! Can you just picture me and a bunch of guys with grey hair staring at each other across the Bible, the budget, a couple cups of coffee and the church bylaws?
I may be getting in way over my head.