Tuesday, November 18, 2008

A November Letter

Dear Santa,

I know it's only November 18th (my un-birthday), but i wanted to let you know early that I have been a good girl this year. A very good girl.

I appreciate the african american president. that was nice of you to deliver complete with wife and wrapped in Narciso. and i would hate to come across as needy but seeing as i have been an exceptionally good girl this year (i doubt i need to remind you of hours spent in therapy trying to be a better person, the hundreds spent in waxing trying to be a better woman, and the number of this-is-a-bad-idea-relationships i've turn down) surely you don't mind me asking for one or two more things...

1. world peace (that includes the usual... iraq, darfur, the congo, but don't forget austin, kansas city and chicago too please).

2. equal rights for women (um, equal pay, equal opportunity [even among baptists] and no more sex trafficking. oh and sorry to put so many people out, but the porn industry has got to go too).

3. recycling - as not only an opportunity but an obligation that everyone complies with. naturally following that is, um, an end to global warming.

4. a cure to cancer and also the common cold.

Now i realize that last request may put you over the edge, but did i mention what a good girl i've been?...

Merry Christmas, Santa. Tell the elves I say hello.

yours truly,

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