I tend to shy away from descriptions of Jesus as sacrificial. It makes me think of blood and dead lambs and the ego-centric “if you were the only person on earth, Jesus would have died for you” nonsense that musically lame and theologically inept praise choruses of the eighties and nineties and televangelists tend to communicate about God.
I don’t like it.
But this weekend I was reminded that indeed, Jesus led a very sacrificial life. And I was reminded of this in a love story.
Lisa moved to Kenya some time after we graduated from college to work for the International Justice Mission. While there, she met a Liberian man. Although they share her native language (his being a tribal Liberian dialect), communication is still trying at times, but despite their differences, they fell in love. The true test for Lisa though, came a year or so later when Eddie was offered his dream job... in Liberia. He would probably be placed in a village, probably without internet, with cell reception only from the top of a hill in the town. Lisa was happy about this amazing opportunity for him, but after he told her about the job offering she cried and cried. This would the turning point in their relationship - would she move to a country devastated (but recovering) from war, a place with limited resources, poor health care, and bad food? Would she move to a place like that where she had no job? Further away from family and even friends she had made in Kenya? Would she trust God through this? And that's when she realized it was, as she said, "true love." When they talked on the phone later about the situation, Eddie began and said, "I'm not taking the job. It's too risky for us. We wouldn't be able to communicate very often and I can't do that to us." And that's when Lisa learned that both of them had come to the same conclusion - that they were willing to give it all up for the other person. Indeed she was experiencing true love. “And love,” she told me “is a sacrifice. It’s modeled in the personhood of Jesus Christ and it should be modeled in the way we love each other.”
Sacrifice. That’s a hard word for me in general. Apart from Little Bo Peep’s dead sheep on the altar, sacrifice as lifestyle is a hard one to live by. I want a good job and a healthy marriage and a happy home and nice neighbors. I want to take vacations to exotic places and go to the theatre often and out a pool in my backyard. I’d love to own a hybrid car and my own home and maybe someday even a second home on a beach or lake somewhere or maybe in the mountains. Not an extravagant lifestyle, but a good one. But probably not one that anyone would call sacrificial.
But what Lisa was talking about – while it did mean sacrificing basic living conditions (electricity for one) what she described was more a sacrifice of self – of wants and desires – because of loving someone else.
So I started to wonder what sacrifice in our spirituality really means. What does it mean when in Romans 12 Paul writes, “Offer yourselves up as living sacrifices.” Obviously not a literal imperative but one that reminded me of other metaphors… Jesus told Nicodemis that “no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.” Again, playing on the idea similar to sacrifice, of letting go of something, and to the born again metaphor, a definite change element is added. In all three synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark and Luke) Jesus is quoted as saying, “Whoever wants to save his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for me will find it.”
Those images of sacrifice, rebirth, and losing and finding life remind me of the lyrics in the song written by Alanis Morisette that we sang at the earlier in the service. “Reborn and shivering. Spat out on new terrain… Day One, Day One, start over again. Step one. Step one. I’m barely making sense.”
Surely you’ve been there before. In a new city, at a new college, at a new job, in a new relationship and you’re feeling your way along, seemingly blind at first because of the newness and unfamiliarity of the situation.
If you haven’t been there before, just wait, you will be.
As I listen to the imagery in that song, I am reminded of scenes of “rebirth,” if you will, in biblical stories. There’s Adam and Eve in the Garden and then there’s Adam and Eve feeling their way around outside the Garden. There’s Hagar and Ishmael having been cast out of Abraham’s tribe to fend and provide for themselves alone in the desert and eventually in Egypt. There’s Joseph in jail, having already been through slavery and falling in and out of the good graces of the people around him, now wondering where life will take him or how to even make a life for himself in jail. There’s Jonah, humiliated, but alive (having been spit out of a fish) struggling to embrace a wider theology. There’s Mary, pregnant and alone with a story no one was going to believe. What would life look like with that magical but terrifying news? There’s Paul, the Christian-hater, now confessing Christ alongside people he’d sought to execute.
So many life-changing experiences but experiences meant to be explored with God. Told with God who indeed is one of the main characters and has been all along. Suddenly being spat out on new terrain, naked and alone before God begins to make sense to me. Apart from the Just Me and Jesus, individualistic, selfish, all-about-me-Christianity that I loathe, on some level I realize that at some point it comes down to just us and God. It’s not a faith our parents pass on to us in their wills. It’s not dowry gift received from a marriage. It’s an experience, a relationship between you and your creator. And regardless of whether or not there is a blinding light that leaves you panicked and passed out in the street, you will leave your encounter with God changed.
Changed. Reborn. Day One, Day One, Start over again. Having given up your life, you receive new life. And you are changed. And this change affects your very being. While it may not change your vocation, it changes who you are in the workplace. While it may not change your major, it changes how you use the knowledge you gain. People aren’t just people anymore, they’re children of God. Talent isn’t just being good at something now, it’s a gift to be shared. Money doesn’t have the same meaning. Everything may stay the same, but everything changes too because now God is in it. Now God is in you! Now God asks you to offer yourself up as a living sacrifice: to tithe, so a community of faith can function; to vote so that all may experience equality, to share so that the widows and orphans are not left alone, to love so that everyone may know God’s love, to forgive - even your enemies, to speak up for injustice even when it’s unpopular, to be faithful even when hedonism feels so good.
It changes you. It changes the way you interact even with the people sitting next to you tonight. Everything changes when you encounter God. And if God isn’t real to you, if you don’t start off empty, alone, naked, and acknowledging that you are nothing without God, you miss the life. Unless you lose it, you’ll never find it.
No wonder the gate is narrow. Who wants to sit exposed in all of their un-splendor admitting “I can’t do this alone, nor do I want to.”? For people in trauma, it’s easy to see what’s relative, what’s imperative, what is essential. In traumatic situations, the excess strips away and only what matters is left. So it’s often feels easier even amidst the pain for someone in crisis to realize that really nothing matters apart from loving God and loving each other. For the rest of us who sit on our comfy couches, with our good grades and our distinguished degrees and successful jobs and relatively happy families, it’s easier to be blindsighted by these essentially good things, by the good life. But if we stood blinking in the sun, startled and staring truly at our ability to live abundantly, starting freshly with that mind-boggling grace that changes everything, where would we go? How would we live?
How would we change? Who would we be?
Naturally, we would live in empowering understanding and humble gratitude - as if we really got a second chance, a second birth, a newly gained life… given through sacrifice, to be lived sacrificially.
Amen.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Love and Marriage
Wow. I learned a lot about love this weekend.
First off, Julie got married. This in and of itself it a miracle. Like myself, having been through a plethora of failed relationships, one can get to the point where one wonders... what if...
But Julie is in love. And not like I've ever seen her before. Her and Michael's first dance was amazing. Amazing. Hands down, out of all the weddings I've ever been in, sung at, officiated or attended, this couple wins for best first dance. With his hands on her back in a tender embrace, Julie kept clutching his neck and resting her head in his chest. "I'm so happy," I saw her whisper at one point. It was beautiful. Then when Julie and her dad danced, their song was the father daughter song from the musical Beauty and the Beast and it was so awesome watching her and her father singing the words to each other as they danced. Julie and Merlin always had a very silly but loving relationship.
And was she ever a beautiful bride. Holy cow.
It was a great wedding because so many of my (and Julie's) worlds came together all at once. Julie and I shared much of our adult life attending the same college, the same seminary, being in Baptist circles and churches. So there were friends there from Jewell, Truett, and the CBF all there. 12 years of friendships. It was especially fun to be back together with Lisa, Stacey and Laura for most of the weekend.
And this is where I learned my second lesson about love.
Lisa moved to Kenya some time after we graduated from college to work for the International Justice Mission. While there, she met a Liberian man. ALthough they share her native language (his being a tribal Liberian dialect), communication is still trying at times, but despite their differences, they fell in love. The true test for Lisa though, came a year or so later when Eddie was offered his dream job... in Liberia. He would probably be placed in a village, probably without internet, with cell reception only from the top of a hill in the town. Lisa was happy about this amazing opportunity for him, but after he told her about the job offering she cried and cried. This would the turning point in their relationship - would she move to a country devastated (but recovering) from war, a place with limited resources, poor health care, and bad food? Would she move to a place like that where she had no job? Further away from family and even friends she had made in Kenya. Would she trust God through this? And that's when she realized it was, as she said, "true love." When they talked on the phone later about the situation, Eddie began by saying, "I'm not taking the job. It's too risky for us. We wouldn't be able to communicate very often and I can't do that to us." And that's when Lisa learned that both of them had come to the same conclusion - that they were willing to give it all up for the other person. True love.
Normally I hate that sappy shit. But listening to Lisa talk about life in Liberia and watching Julie who has experienced so many hardships in love come to a place of complete commitment was informative at the least and inspiring at the best.
Maybe it really happens. Maybe. It's hard to write about love, but to see it being told and experienced by your friends, friends who you know and trust and love... well, it becomes a little more real, tangible. Not a romantic date or a sexual encounter or a fairy tale idealism or a rite of passage, but a journey, deliberately, carefully chosen, embraced with someone that your love. You love. Love enough to sacrifice for. A relationship both people are so invested in, they would give it all up for the well-being of that unity.
Maybe that's why even our relationship with God is characterized in the expressions of faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
First off, Julie got married. This in and of itself it a miracle. Like myself, having been through a plethora of failed relationships, one can get to the point where one wonders... what if...
But Julie is in love. And not like I've ever seen her before. Her and Michael's first dance was amazing. Amazing. Hands down, out of all the weddings I've ever been in, sung at, officiated or attended, this couple wins for best first dance. With his hands on her back in a tender embrace, Julie kept clutching his neck and resting her head in his chest. "I'm so happy," I saw her whisper at one point. It was beautiful. Then when Julie and her dad danced, their song was the father daughter song from the musical Beauty and the Beast and it was so awesome watching her and her father singing the words to each other as they danced. Julie and Merlin always had a very silly but loving relationship.
And was she ever a beautiful bride. Holy cow.
It was a great wedding because so many of my (and Julie's) worlds came together all at once. Julie and I shared much of our adult life attending the same college, the same seminary, being in Baptist circles and churches. So there were friends there from Jewell, Truett, and the CBF all there. 12 years of friendships. It was especially fun to be back together with Lisa, Stacey and Laura for most of the weekend.
And this is where I learned my second lesson about love.
Lisa moved to Kenya some time after we graduated from college to work for the International Justice Mission. While there, she met a Liberian man. ALthough they share her native language (his being a tribal Liberian dialect), communication is still trying at times, but despite their differences, they fell in love. The true test for Lisa though, came a year or so later when Eddie was offered his dream job... in Liberia. He would probably be placed in a village, probably without internet, with cell reception only from the top of a hill in the town. Lisa was happy about this amazing opportunity for him, but after he told her about the job offering she cried and cried. This would the turning point in their relationship - would she move to a country devastated (but recovering) from war, a place with limited resources, poor health care, and bad food? Would she move to a place like that where she had no job? Further away from family and even friends she had made in Kenya. Would she trust God through this? And that's when she realized it was, as she said, "true love." When they talked on the phone later about the situation, Eddie began by saying, "I'm not taking the job. It's too risky for us. We wouldn't be able to communicate very often and I can't do that to us." And that's when Lisa learned that both of them had come to the same conclusion - that they were willing to give it all up for the other person. True love.
Normally I hate that sappy shit. But listening to Lisa talk about life in Liberia and watching Julie who has experienced so many hardships in love come to a place of complete commitment was informative at the least and inspiring at the best.
Maybe it really happens. Maybe. It's hard to write about love, but to see it being told and experienced by your friends, friends who you know and trust and love... well, it becomes a little more real, tangible. Not a romantic date or a sexual encounter or a fairy tale idealism or a rite of passage, but a journey, deliberately, carefully chosen, embraced with someone that your love. You love. Love enough to sacrifice for. A relationship both people are so invested in, they would give it all up for the well-being of that unity.
Maybe that's why even our relationship with God is characterized in the expressions of faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
You Go Girl!
One of my FAVORITE people, here's an article on her new gluten-free cupcake business! (And this is us as kids). Congrats Andee!
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
EW!
There is a cockroach...waterbug...THING on my kitchen floor. I found it there at 4am when i couldn't sleep and went to the kitchen to do laundry. it was on it's back still wiggling it's wirey legs. I hate cockroaches or anything resembling them. Just last week I swore if I ever found a cockroach in my house I would move out.
Do you know how many other things I've sworn about?...
I'll never live in Texas.
I'll never work in a church.
I'll never get a dog.
I'm too afraid to say the rest of the list out loud...
The cockroach is still on the floor.
The deal with roommates has always been, you pick up the cockroach, i'll pick up the snake or spider or mouse or whatever. UGH. I have no roommate. She moved out last week. I have no boyfriend either which makes the situation even trickier. And with the price of gas now, no willing soul would drive over here to pick it up for me.
DAMNIT!
The little bug lived for a good two or three hours after I first found it. I felt just the tinsiest bit bad about that, but not enough to end it's life. Usually when I find wounded lizards the cats or dog have brought in that are still alive, I don't have the heart to kill them either. But I do gently pick them up and set them outside so they may die at least in their natural habitat. I love reptiles.
The only mercy I've ever showed any cockroaches were the ones I watched on Enchanted. When Giselle sings and all the city "animals" come help her clean house, I guffawed. But my affection for those cocky cleaners was still coupled with nervous collar tugging. Gross. Cockroaches cleaning? Funny, but gross.
Now if I could just figure out how to clean up my cockroach...
Do you know how many other things I've sworn about?...
I'll never live in Texas.
I'll never work in a church.
I'll never get a dog.
I'm too afraid to say the rest of the list out loud...
The cockroach is still on the floor.
The deal with roommates has always been, you pick up the cockroach, i'll pick up the snake or spider or mouse or whatever. UGH. I have no roommate. She moved out last week. I have no boyfriend either which makes the situation even trickier. And with the price of gas now, no willing soul would drive over here to pick it up for me.
DAMNIT!
The little bug lived for a good two or three hours after I first found it. I felt just the tinsiest bit bad about that, but not enough to end it's life. Usually when I find wounded lizards the cats or dog have brought in that are still alive, I don't have the heart to kill them either. But I do gently pick them up and set them outside so they may die at least in their natural habitat. I love reptiles.
The only mercy I've ever showed any cockroaches were the ones I watched on Enchanted. When Giselle sings and all the city "animals" come help her clean house, I guffawed. But my affection for those cocky cleaners was still coupled with nervous collar tugging. Gross. Cockroaches cleaning? Funny, but gross.
Now if I could just figure out how to clean up my cockroach...
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Another Magazine Arrives
Okay seriously people... American Handgunner?
Could I hate anything more than cooking and guns? My roommate says, "You hate porn..." so yes, I guess, it could be worse.
Could I hate anything more than cooking and guns? My roommate says, "You hate porn..." so yes, I guess, it could be worse.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Are you an average reader?
The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed. Well, let's see.
1) Bold the books you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Star the books you're reading/have read some of.
5) Copy, paste, & repeat.
I only bolded and starred cause I got tired of guessing whether or not I would REALLY get around the reading the books. And I got frustrated trying to decide if I LOVED the book or just really liked it. :) So I've only done 1 and 4 in the requested list. (I did parenthetically note if I've seen the movie). Even with those two though, it appears I am above average. But certainly not close to the 100 mark...
1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen (seen the movie)
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (seen the movie)
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling * (seen the movie)
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell *
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott (seen the movie)
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller *
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (seen the movie)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (seen the movie)
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy *
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis. * (seen the movie)
34 Emma - Jane Austen (seen the movie)
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (seen the movie)
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy*
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck (seen the movie)
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding (seen the movie)
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (seen the movie, listened to the musical)
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray (seen the movie)
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (seen the movie and musical)
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White (seen the movie)
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery-
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas *
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (seen the movie)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (seen the movie)
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo * (seen the movie and musical)
1) Bold the books you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Star the books you're reading/have read some of.
5) Copy, paste, & repeat.
I only bolded and starred cause I got tired of guessing whether or not I would REALLY get around the reading the books. And I got frustrated trying to decide if I LOVED the book or just really liked it. :) So I've only done 1 and 4 in the requested list. (I did parenthetically note if I've seen the movie). Even with those two though, it appears I am above average. But certainly not close to the 100 mark...
1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen (seen the movie)
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (seen the movie)
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling * (seen the movie)
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell *
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott (seen the movie)
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller *
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (seen the movie)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (seen the movie)
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy *
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis. * (seen the movie)
34 Emma - Jane Austen (seen the movie)
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (seen the movie)
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy*
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck (seen the movie)
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding (seen the movie)
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (seen the movie, listened to the musical)
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray (seen the movie)
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (seen the movie and musical)
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White (seen the movie)
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery-
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas *
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (seen the movie)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (seen the movie)
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo * (seen the movie and musical)
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Hope...
We’ve been hearing a lot about hope and change in the media recently have we not? Every politician walks a fine line between guaranteeing change and offering hope while maintaining the integrity of reality.
Reality is a war in the middle east coupled with impending war against several other nations. Hope is bringing home the troops, peace talks that bring about peace, and restful, civil nations.
Reality is continual increases in teen pregnancy – 13, 14, 15, 16 year old mothers and fathers. Hope is higher self-esteem, healthier perspectives on sexuality, a decrease in pornography use, and safe sex or abstinence.
Reality is flooding in the Midwest along the Mississippi. Reality is fires in the West. Reality is parts of the south still suffering from Katrina and Rita. Hope is a government that is prepared for Mother Nature’s attacks, more relief workers and financial aid, provisions for the poor who can’t make a comeback, a deeper respect for our environment, and heeding the warnings of global warming.
We hear a lot about hope and change and sometimes it’s hard to swallow all that when we face reality every day.
And reality isn’t just about facts and figures and statistics and status-quo. Reality isn’t just economics and politics and environments. Reality is how we feel and what we think and how we will make it through the uncertainty of each day when our turn comes in the game of life. How do we manage delighting in the daylight with fears that come with nightfall? That’s reality too – the untangible reality – the feeling of awe at the birth of a child, the assumption of responsibility when peering into a Grand Canyon, the power of peace when peering at all the stars and solar systems in the evening sky.
But with much beauty comes much fear. So what’s the point of hope?
Is it just to make us feel better? Is hope the prozac of our spiritual angst? Is it the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down? Is hope what causes people in Pentecostal churches to jump up and down and fall over laughing? Is hope what keeps people giving to charity when we know we “will always have the poor” among us? Is hope what keeps us saying our prayers at night and doing meditations in the morning and yoga after work? Is hope what keeps us out of hell?
Well… yes.
Yes, yes, I’m not sure about the hell thing, and yes.
Because I think once we claim hope, once we agree with God that rescue is coming, that soon we will be done, and we warn the world to watch for us coming, this hope, this desire for change, for salvation, this hope becomes in us not an esoteric idea to be discussed in theology class, but a real, living, potentially-tangible, but certainly unexplainable something inside us. While Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see, at some point I believe that hope hope goes from being a concept to something concrete. Something we don’t understand but something we can feel.
God loves us. Hope has come.
We can make a difference. Hope has come.
Hope became Human. Something about God becoming a man, God becoming one of us, makes hope tangible. And some of us got to touch it. Some of us got to see the face of God incarnate, look into the eyes, touch the garment of the cloak, feel the wounds, wash the feet with tears, some of us were there. And the rest of us have the great stories God left for us. And we have the Spirit that moves in us and reminds us that hope has come.
Hope has come.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
So jump. Shout. Scream. Laugh. Cry. Study hard in school. Get involved in politics. Volunteer to help out in your community. Pay your taxes. Give even more money away willingly. Forgive your enemies. Pray for peace. Practice safe sex. And for the love of God, tell your friends about the hope you have in Jesus Christ. Tell your story of hope…
Frederick Buechner writes, “For Christians, hope is ultimately hope in Christ. The hope that he really is what for centuries we have been claiming he is. The hope that despite the fact that sin and death still rule the world, he somehow conquered them. The hope that in him and through him all of us stand a chance of somehow conquering them too. The hope that at some unforeseeable time and in some unimaginable way he will return with healing in his wings.”
Amen.
Reality is a war in the middle east coupled with impending war against several other nations. Hope is bringing home the troops, peace talks that bring about peace, and restful, civil nations.
Reality is continual increases in teen pregnancy – 13, 14, 15, 16 year old mothers and fathers. Hope is higher self-esteem, healthier perspectives on sexuality, a decrease in pornography use, and safe sex or abstinence.
Reality is flooding in the Midwest along the Mississippi. Reality is fires in the West. Reality is parts of the south still suffering from Katrina and Rita. Hope is a government that is prepared for Mother Nature’s attacks, more relief workers and financial aid, provisions for the poor who can’t make a comeback, a deeper respect for our environment, and heeding the warnings of global warming.
We hear a lot about hope and change and sometimes it’s hard to swallow all that when we face reality every day.
And reality isn’t just about facts and figures and statistics and status-quo. Reality isn’t just economics and politics and environments. Reality is how we feel and what we think and how we will make it through the uncertainty of each day when our turn comes in the game of life. How do we manage delighting in the daylight with fears that come with nightfall? That’s reality too – the untangible reality – the feeling of awe at the birth of a child, the assumption of responsibility when peering into a Grand Canyon, the power of peace when peering at all the stars and solar systems in the evening sky.
But with much beauty comes much fear. So what’s the point of hope?
Is it just to make us feel better? Is hope the prozac of our spiritual angst? Is it the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down? Is hope what causes people in Pentecostal churches to jump up and down and fall over laughing? Is hope what keeps people giving to charity when we know we “will always have the poor” among us? Is hope what keeps us saying our prayers at night and doing meditations in the morning and yoga after work? Is hope what keeps us out of hell?
Well… yes.
Yes, yes, I’m not sure about the hell thing, and yes.
Because I think once we claim hope, once we agree with God that rescue is coming, that soon we will be done, and we warn the world to watch for us coming, this hope, this desire for change, for salvation, this hope becomes in us not an esoteric idea to be discussed in theology class, but a real, living, potentially-tangible, but certainly unexplainable something inside us. While Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see, at some point I believe that hope hope goes from being a concept to something concrete. Something we don’t understand but something we can feel.
God loves us. Hope has come.
We can make a difference. Hope has come.
Hope became Human. Something about God becoming a man, God becoming one of us, makes hope tangible. And some of us got to touch it. Some of us got to see the face of God incarnate, look into the eyes, touch the garment of the cloak, feel the wounds, wash the feet with tears, some of us were there. And the rest of us have the great stories God left for us. And we have the Spirit that moves in us and reminds us that hope has come.
Hope has come.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
So jump. Shout. Scream. Laugh. Cry. Study hard in school. Get involved in politics. Volunteer to help out in your community. Pay your taxes. Give even more money away willingly. Forgive your enemies. Pray for peace. Practice safe sex. And for the love of God, tell your friends about the hope you have in Jesus Christ. Tell your story of hope…
Frederick Buechner writes, “For Christians, hope is ultimately hope in Christ. The hope that he really is what for centuries we have been claiming he is. The hope that despite the fact that sin and death still rule the world, he somehow conquered them. The hope that in him and through him all of us stand a chance of somehow conquering them too. The hope that at some unforeseeable time and in some unimaginable way he will return with healing in his wings.”
Amen.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Theta Iota Rho...
Not many women probably say that they received a muumuu for their thirtieth birthday.
But I can.
Tonight, my roommate and I were lured to a friend's house under the pretense that said friend wanted to invite her Reverend friends over and discuss how one can help further the call of female ministers.
Ugh. A really busy week, but okay. I agreed to go to this a long time ago. So, we were off.
When we arrived, two other friends (non-reverends) were getting out of their car. This should have perhaps tipped me off. It didn't. I mean, don't most experts in Congolese government want to discuss women in ministry?
"Can I take your purse?" our host said. "No thanks, we're just heading off to have dinner anyway, I'll just keep it."
She took all the other purses to the back room.
Once inside, we waited for the third reverend to show up and when she did, I expected that we would be off. Instead we all just sat looking at our host who was exchanging glances with two other women in the room. "Should we tell them?" she asked.
The four of us not involved in the eye exchange (the three reverends and the Congo expert) exchanged glances of our own.
As it turned out, the four of us were not invited over to discuss the future of women in ministry (or to play dominoes as African Queen was told), rather we were invited by our "sisters" to celebrate belatedly, our thirtieth birthdays. Yep, All four of us had turned 30 within a month of each other and the sisters thought that rather than let us wallow in misery, they would invite us into the sisterhood of the over-thirty and offer their wisdom to us, and yes, initiate us into their club.
No wonder they took away the purses. They held our car keys and thus our means of escape. And as our hosts scurried into the back room to get ready for whatever they were up to, we realized I still had mine. "Hide it. We might need it!"
Now, I can't tell you all the workings of the Sisterhood, they're secret you know, but suffice it to say, we four initiates received "robes," wisdom, and even a plaque. We sang songs, were advised on crow's feet and encouraged to do something monumental and challenging in honor of this year, like say, run a marathon... riiiiiight.
But, truth be told, our friends made the thirties look really good. And for all the guffawing, we had some serious moments too: failure comes in this decade, unfulfilled expectations, health issues... It was a very tender, insightful time.
And afterwards, we all stood in a circle with arms crossed (right over left) holding on to each other's pinkies and heard that great poem by Jones (i think) about growing old and wearing purple. I love that poem.
And then we went to Luby's.
In the muumuus.
O god.
At least we wouldn't run into anyone we knew at Luby's. That was for sure.
But we still got plenty of looks. And two little kids who were leaving as we were coming, turned around and went out a different door. Geez. Did we look that bad?
Yes. Yes we did. Muumuu should be spelled Moo-Moo because most of us looked like fat cows. (I say most because one of us was granted a muumuu that was actually okay save for the wings underneith the armpits and one actually owned a muumuu and it was cute on her too).
Needless to say, I will not be posting pictures.
But thank god for surprise parties and friends and turning thirty.
This will be the best decade yet...
But I can.
Tonight, my roommate and I were lured to a friend's house under the pretense that said friend wanted to invite her Reverend friends over and discuss how one can help further the call of female ministers.
Ugh. A really busy week, but okay. I agreed to go to this a long time ago. So, we were off.
When we arrived, two other friends (non-reverends) were getting out of their car. This should have perhaps tipped me off. It didn't. I mean, don't most experts in Congolese government want to discuss women in ministry?
"Can I take your purse?" our host said. "No thanks, we're just heading off to have dinner anyway, I'll just keep it."
She took all the other purses to the back room.
Once inside, we waited for the third reverend to show up and when she did, I expected that we would be off. Instead we all just sat looking at our host who was exchanging glances with two other women in the room. "Should we tell them?" she asked.
The four of us not involved in the eye exchange (the three reverends and the Congo expert) exchanged glances of our own.
As it turned out, the four of us were not invited over to discuss the future of women in ministry (or to play dominoes as African Queen was told), rather we were invited by our "sisters" to celebrate belatedly, our thirtieth birthdays. Yep, All four of us had turned 30 within a month of each other and the sisters thought that rather than let us wallow in misery, they would invite us into the sisterhood of the over-thirty and offer their wisdom to us, and yes, initiate us into their club.
No wonder they took away the purses. They held our car keys and thus our means of escape. And as our hosts scurried into the back room to get ready for whatever they were up to, we realized I still had mine. "Hide it. We might need it!"
Now, I can't tell you all the workings of the Sisterhood, they're secret you know, but suffice it to say, we four initiates received "robes," wisdom, and even a plaque. We sang songs, were advised on crow's feet and encouraged to do something monumental and challenging in honor of this year, like say, run a marathon... riiiiiight.
But, truth be told, our friends made the thirties look really good. And for all the guffawing, we had some serious moments too: failure comes in this decade, unfulfilled expectations, health issues... It was a very tender, insightful time.
And afterwards, we all stood in a circle with arms crossed (right over left) holding on to each other's pinkies and heard that great poem by Jones (i think) about growing old and wearing purple. I love that poem.
And then we went to Luby's.
In the muumuus.
O god.
At least we wouldn't run into anyone we knew at Luby's. That was for sure.
But we still got plenty of looks. And two little kids who were leaving as we were coming, turned around and went out a different door. Geez. Did we look that bad?
Yes. Yes we did. Muumuu should be spelled Moo-Moo because most of us looked like fat cows. (I say most because one of us was granted a muumuu that was actually okay save for the wings underneith the armpits and one actually owned a muumuu and it was cute on her too).
Needless to say, I will not be posting pictures.
But thank god for surprise parties and friends and turning thirty.
This will be the best decade yet...
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Beresheth Tonight
“Live into the paradox,” my professor in seminary used to say. I’m pretty sure we were arguing about free will juxtaposed with God’s providence. The old “did God make me do it?” question. Or it could have been a discussion over the fine line between works and faith. Fruit and no fruit. How salvation by grace works with a God who says you can tell who loves God by their fruit … but works don’t save you.
Tricky. Very tricky.
“I got your paradox right here…” I used to mumble beneath my breath. Such confusing conversations. No wonder theologians are always pictured with grey hair and spectacles, it’s maddening thinking about all these confusing topics and going around and around and around about them with your colleagues. And it’s not like they pulled this theological stuff out of thin air. I mean, it’s in the Bible. Most of these conversations are based on conversations that take place in the Bible. What do we interpret this story? What did Jesus mean by this? What is Paul saying when he wrote that?
“To lose your life is to find it” – please! “The last shall be first.” What does that even mean?
And beyond Jesus’ metaphors and hyperboles and parables, there are other confusing parts of our Christian faith too. I was trying to encourage myself yesterday by writing scripture down in a notebook when I should have been listening to a lecture when I realized I didn’t believe what I was writing. “You shall mount up on wings as eagles, you shall run and not grow weary, you shall walk and not grow faint.” While often embossed on a pillow or hung on your bathroom wall, this verse I discovered as I was re-writing it in my journal does not make me feel better. And why? Because I feel tired; I feel faint. Because I don’t feel like an eagle in the sky, I feel like the little rat on the ground that the beautiful, hungry eagle is about to swoop down and eat!
And as for prayer. O Lord! “Ask and ye shall receive” is about the biggest load of bullock I’ve ever heard. Everyone knows that prayer doesn’t work like that. There’s no formula, no guarantee. And unless we’re privileged in society, we usually end up disappointed anyway. And what if God doesn’t even want our petitions? What if that’s not what prayer is about? Why did Jesus say that then? Ask and ye shall receive…
And we’re back again to the mystery of God. For the ones that love God are not guaranteed an easy run of it. We aren’t all eagles flying freely in the sky. Some of us are stuck in a rut, in the valley… You’d think that a God who loved you might shower a little grace down your way. Living in poverty, getting a divorce, failing Chemistry, not finding a job, battling anorexia, wrecking your car, getting your girlfriend pregnant, losing your home, fighting addiction, dealing with depression – for the joy of the Lord being our strength, sometimes this world sure is hard.
I’m just saying…
But I suppose it’s at this point that all my know-it-all, goody-two-shoes Christian acquaintances would say, “Well, God only gives you what you can handle and while you may not feel like you see God’s grace in your life – you don’t know what God’s saving you from right this very minute! His grace is sufficient.” I know it’s sufficient theoretically… theologically… but that doesn’t mean I’m having a good day!” I want to scream back. “All I’m saying is that if God loves me He might want to shower me, His beloved child, with blessings or something! At least a boyfriend!”
Ah, but I am ridiculous and God is mysterious. And yes, life is hard. And I will have the same run of the mill life as you with or without God. It’s just that I get to go with God.
Some people may tell you the world is black and white, but don’t believe them. It’s grey. In fact, it’s better than grey, its chalk full of colors blending and mixing and complimenting and sometimes turning brown.
Our God is a mysterious God and She will not be boxed in, nor will She allow herself to get all figured out by some small-minded Americans.
I’m working out my faith right now. I admit it. Doug talked about tension in scripture last night at Midweek Moorings and I’m having a heck of a time in my personal life right now and sometimes the only confession I can get out of my mouth from my very weak but trying-to-be-faithful heart is, “God is mysterious, and I love Her.”
And I will try to walk humbly with God. I will believe in an amazing God that I don’t understand, an ancient text that I don’t always relate to and a Holy Spirit that I can’t always follow.
And I will live into the paradox, despite my desperate need for stability. And I will love God. Love the mystery of God. Love Jesus who oddly enough is God incarnate. Love the Spirit who breathes new life in me when I never deserve it.
Amazing grace.
Tricky. Very tricky.
“I got your paradox right here…” I used to mumble beneath my breath. Such confusing conversations. No wonder theologians are always pictured with grey hair and spectacles, it’s maddening thinking about all these confusing topics and going around and around and around about them with your colleagues. And it’s not like they pulled this theological stuff out of thin air. I mean, it’s in the Bible. Most of these conversations are based on conversations that take place in the Bible. What do we interpret this story? What did Jesus mean by this? What is Paul saying when he wrote that?
“To lose your life is to find it” – please! “The last shall be first.” What does that even mean?
And beyond Jesus’ metaphors and hyperboles and parables, there are other confusing parts of our Christian faith too. I was trying to encourage myself yesterday by writing scripture down in a notebook when I should have been listening to a lecture when I realized I didn’t believe what I was writing. “You shall mount up on wings as eagles, you shall run and not grow weary, you shall walk and not grow faint.” While often embossed on a pillow or hung on your bathroom wall, this verse I discovered as I was re-writing it in my journal does not make me feel better. And why? Because I feel tired; I feel faint. Because I don’t feel like an eagle in the sky, I feel like the little rat on the ground that the beautiful, hungry eagle is about to swoop down and eat!
And as for prayer. O Lord! “Ask and ye shall receive” is about the biggest load of bullock I’ve ever heard. Everyone knows that prayer doesn’t work like that. There’s no formula, no guarantee. And unless we’re privileged in society, we usually end up disappointed anyway. And what if God doesn’t even want our petitions? What if that’s not what prayer is about? Why did Jesus say that then? Ask and ye shall receive…
And we’re back again to the mystery of God. For the ones that love God are not guaranteed an easy run of it. We aren’t all eagles flying freely in the sky. Some of us are stuck in a rut, in the valley… You’d think that a God who loved you might shower a little grace down your way. Living in poverty, getting a divorce, failing Chemistry, not finding a job, battling anorexia, wrecking your car, getting your girlfriend pregnant, losing your home, fighting addiction, dealing with depression – for the joy of the Lord being our strength, sometimes this world sure is hard.
I’m just saying…
But I suppose it’s at this point that all my know-it-all, goody-two-shoes Christian acquaintances would say, “Well, God only gives you what you can handle and while you may not feel like you see God’s grace in your life – you don’t know what God’s saving you from right this very minute! His grace is sufficient.” I know it’s sufficient theoretically… theologically… but that doesn’t mean I’m having a good day!” I want to scream back. “All I’m saying is that if God loves me He might want to shower me, His beloved child, with blessings or something! At least a boyfriend!”
Ah, but I am ridiculous and God is mysterious. And yes, life is hard. And I will have the same run of the mill life as you with or without God. It’s just that I get to go with God.
Some people may tell you the world is black and white, but don’t believe them. It’s grey. In fact, it’s better than grey, its chalk full of colors blending and mixing and complimenting and sometimes turning brown.
Our God is a mysterious God and She will not be boxed in, nor will She allow herself to get all figured out by some small-minded Americans.
I’m working out my faith right now. I admit it. Doug talked about tension in scripture last night at Midweek Moorings and I’m having a heck of a time in my personal life right now and sometimes the only confession I can get out of my mouth from my very weak but trying-to-be-faithful heart is, “God is mysterious, and I love Her.”
And I will try to walk humbly with God. I will believe in an amazing God that I don’t understand, an ancient text that I don’t always relate to and a Holy Spirit that I can’t always follow.
And I will live into the paradox, despite my desperate need for stability. And I will love God. Love the mystery of God. Love Jesus who oddly enough is God incarnate. Love the Spirit who breathes new life in me when I never deserve it.
Amazing grace.
I Hate Hail
Hail damage on car: $800+. Deductible: $1000. Getting your car repaired: No.
Hail damage on roof (but only on the metal tubes) $400+. Deductible: $1000. Getting your metal tubes repaired: No.
Hail damage on kitchen window: $160. Window coverage: $100. Getting your window replaced: Yes with the $100 check they wrote me. Does anyone know where I can get a new window for under $100?
Hail damage to tree in front yard: no clue. Insurance coverage: None. Getting the big ol' broken branch out of the tree: No idea. Any suggestions? No, a ladder won't reach it.
As if the hail storm weren't stressful enough with the sound and the trees falling and thinking I'd lost Zorba in the storm, crying and not sleeping all night, none of the damage to my "stuff" was "bad enough" to do anything except lose me money. I guess I should be thankful there wasn't more damage done. Except that the damage done isn't getting fixed cause I'm not paying for it all by myself. Which means my car and my house and my life are getting more ghetto by the minute.
Whatever.
Hail damage on roof (but only on the metal tubes) $400+. Deductible: $1000. Getting your metal tubes repaired: No.
Hail damage on kitchen window: $160. Window coverage: $100. Getting your window replaced: Yes with the $100 check they wrote me. Does anyone know where I can get a new window for under $100?
Hail damage to tree in front yard: no clue. Insurance coverage: None. Getting the big ol' broken branch out of the tree: No idea. Any suggestions? No, a ladder won't reach it.
As if the hail storm weren't stressful enough with the sound and the trees falling and thinking I'd lost Zorba in the storm, crying and not sleeping all night, none of the damage to my "stuff" was "bad enough" to do anything except lose me money. I guess I should be thankful there wasn't more damage done. Except that the damage done isn't getting fixed cause I'm not paying for it all by myself. Which means my car and my house and my life are getting more ghetto by the minute.
Whatever.
Friday, May 30, 2008
John 1:1-9, 14, 3:17-21
Light and Darkness. Polar opposites, but without one, the other does not exist. As least in my opinion. I suppose scientists would disagree with me. So let me re-phrase that… without one, the other is less understood. In other words, how could we understand light if we didn’t know darkness? How could we see the shining stars unless they were set against a black sky? How could we squint our eyes in the daylight without seeking to see, wide-eyed in the nighttime? How could we enjoy basking in the sunlight without shivering beneath the clouds? Light and Dark. Opposites that modify each other more and more as we take in each and understand them more fully.
But light and dark are symbolic words too. Good and evil. Right and wrong. Happiness and Depression. And in between the light and darkness we oscilate as people and as Christians.
Go therefore into all the world. Into the light and into the darkness. Without discrimination. Into the whole world we go.
Go where the sleepers sleep in their pajamas made of pinstripes which they wear wandering through Wall Street dreaming of the rich and famous. Go where the farmers farm and labor over their fields producing crops that feed their families and feed the world, crops grown only by this world, this earth, this soil that makes the world go round. Go where the dancers dance to forget their aging bodies and sorrowed souls. Go where the singers sing a simple song with chords that soothe the sailors. Go where the people are happy and go where they are sad. Go where you find the most energetic and go to the most weary and tired. Go to the children and the adults and the infants and the elderly. Go to the lands of peace and go to the lands of war. Go the churches and go to the courtrooms.
Go into the light and into the dark. Without discrimination of place or people, you are called to go…
But wherever you go, carry light with you.
A candle if you’ve got it. A glimmer of hope. A story of a healer. A year of faith under your belt.
Or a lantern if you’re lucky. A sacred text. A relationship with a Savior. An awe for a creator. Light the way with the lantern if you’ve got it.
Or maybe you have a church, a community. And you’ve got not only the text, but the tools for interpretation too. And even as your God created you, so do you use your gifts to keep on creating and shouting out “Good!” If you have this sort of light, cling to it, carry it, call it’s name in the dark, for those who have found this light have a great responsibility to shine brightly into the darkness.
Take what you’ve received and share it.
Whatever your light, let it shine.
Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine.
I’ve gotten to the point where I can look back at my thirty years of life (or at least the years I can remember) and reflect on them. I see periods of darkness during some months, some years, but also periods of light. Happier times, easier times interlocked with troubling, painful times. The fourth plague in Egypt was the plague of darkness. Darkness came over the land in Egypt so that no one could see or work or do anything. But not only was it dark outside, but the Bible described it as “darkness that could be felt.” Many of us have probably felt that sort of darkness in our lives. Darkness of greed, jealousy, divorce, illness… darkness that can be felt. Likewise, many of us have felt the times of true joy, the release, the exodus, the wealth of family, friends, purpose and belonging. As I survey these periods of my life, and I categorize them as dark and light times, I find that the edges of my distinctions are not always so clear. I fade in and out of darkness and light in and out and not always because of what I’ve done or not done, where I’ve gone or not gone, what I’ve seen or not seen. Light and dark just is. They are. They exist. They are constants.
After night comes the light and dawn is here.
Every single day.
One of the metaphors used to describe Jesus in the Bible is light – especially used in the book of John which we read from earlier. In Jesus there is no darkness. In Jesus every tear will be wiped away and every soul cleansed. So that only light remains. Only goodness triumphs.
The best part about Jesus is that even in darkness Jesus reigns. Even in sadness, Jesus reigns. Even in danger, Jesus reigns. The light is even in the darkness. And the light is especially needed in the darkness. There is no need to be afraid.
And so wherever we are in our lives: whether we understand the darkness one can feel brushing up against our skin as we plod through life holding our breath, or whether we rest contented in the light of peace and joy and comfort; whether we reside in the dark or in the dawn, we carry in us the eternal light that was in the beginning and in the end.
“What has come into being in Jesus was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.”
Amen.
But light and dark are symbolic words too. Good and evil. Right and wrong. Happiness and Depression. And in between the light and darkness we oscilate as people and as Christians.
Go therefore into all the world. Into the light and into the darkness. Without discrimination. Into the whole world we go.
Go where the sleepers sleep in their pajamas made of pinstripes which they wear wandering through Wall Street dreaming of the rich and famous. Go where the farmers farm and labor over their fields producing crops that feed their families and feed the world, crops grown only by this world, this earth, this soil that makes the world go round. Go where the dancers dance to forget their aging bodies and sorrowed souls. Go where the singers sing a simple song with chords that soothe the sailors. Go where the people are happy and go where they are sad. Go where you find the most energetic and go to the most weary and tired. Go to the children and the adults and the infants and the elderly. Go to the lands of peace and go to the lands of war. Go the churches and go to the courtrooms.
Go into the light and into the dark. Without discrimination of place or people, you are called to go…
But wherever you go, carry light with you.
A candle if you’ve got it. A glimmer of hope. A story of a healer. A year of faith under your belt.
Or a lantern if you’re lucky. A sacred text. A relationship with a Savior. An awe for a creator. Light the way with the lantern if you’ve got it.
Or maybe you have a church, a community. And you’ve got not only the text, but the tools for interpretation too. And even as your God created you, so do you use your gifts to keep on creating and shouting out “Good!” If you have this sort of light, cling to it, carry it, call it’s name in the dark, for those who have found this light have a great responsibility to shine brightly into the darkness.
Take what you’ve received and share it.
Whatever your light, let it shine.
Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine.
I’ve gotten to the point where I can look back at my thirty years of life (or at least the years I can remember) and reflect on them. I see periods of darkness during some months, some years, but also periods of light. Happier times, easier times interlocked with troubling, painful times. The fourth plague in Egypt was the plague of darkness. Darkness came over the land in Egypt so that no one could see or work or do anything. But not only was it dark outside, but the Bible described it as “darkness that could be felt.” Many of us have probably felt that sort of darkness in our lives. Darkness of greed, jealousy, divorce, illness… darkness that can be felt. Likewise, many of us have felt the times of true joy, the release, the exodus, the wealth of family, friends, purpose and belonging. As I survey these periods of my life, and I categorize them as dark and light times, I find that the edges of my distinctions are not always so clear. I fade in and out of darkness and light in and out and not always because of what I’ve done or not done, where I’ve gone or not gone, what I’ve seen or not seen. Light and dark just is. They are. They exist. They are constants.
After night comes the light and dawn is here.
Every single day.
One of the metaphors used to describe Jesus in the Bible is light – especially used in the book of John which we read from earlier. In Jesus there is no darkness. In Jesus every tear will be wiped away and every soul cleansed. So that only light remains. Only goodness triumphs.
The best part about Jesus is that even in darkness Jesus reigns. Even in sadness, Jesus reigns. Even in danger, Jesus reigns. The light is even in the darkness. And the light is especially needed in the darkness. There is no need to be afraid.
And so wherever we are in our lives: whether we understand the darkness one can feel brushing up against our skin as we plod through life holding our breath, or whether we rest contented in the light of peace and joy and comfort; whether we reside in the dark or in the dawn, we carry in us the eternal light that was in the beginning and in the end.
“What has come into being in Jesus was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.”
Amen.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Florida Day 5
Sun, sun and more sun!
And books. I read two books this weeks: Eat, Pray, Live by Elizabeth Gilbert and Grace (Eventually) by Anne Lamott.
Josie started several books too but couldn't get situated on one. Here we are on the beach...
But the most exciting moment of the day came when a jellyfish washed up on the sand!
The water here is Florida is EMERALD GREEN. So green and so beautiful. And juxtaposed with the sky it is just amazing...
Josie and her friends are staying here one more day and I'm quite jealous. If there's a church opening here... Baptist, Methodist, Hindu... I'm gonna apply. And since lot of land here is only going for 1.25 million, I'd say it's a go. While that one and a quarter doesn't include the cost of building a house, it seems quite reasonable. Sigh. Further evidence of the insane divide between the rich and... well... everyone else. Who can afford that?
But it is beautiful and while I miss the eclectic vibe that is Austin, TX, there's not much to complain about down here.
What a great birthday week.
And books. I read two books this weeks: Eat, Pray, Live by Elizabeth Gilbert and Grace (Eventually) by Anne Lamott.
Josie started several books too but couldn't get situated on one. Here we are on the beach...
But the most exciting moment of the day came when a jellyfish washed up on the sand!
The water here is Florida is EMERALD GREEN. So green and so beautiful. And juxtaposed with the sky it is just amazing...
Josie and her friends are staying here one more day and I'm quite jealous. If there's a church opening here... Baptist, Methodist, Hindu... I'm gonna apply. And since lot of land here is only going for 1.25 million, I'd say it's a go. While that one and a quarter doesn't include the cost of building a house, it seems quite reasonable. Sigh. Further evidence of the insane divide between the rich and... well... everyone else. Who can afford that?
But it is beautiful and while I miss the eclectic vibe that is Austin, TX, there's not much to complain about down here.
What a great birthday week.
Florida Day 4
With the brief rain yesterday came a reminder of respite even from the respite of vacation. So under the guise of going to the grocery store, which we eventually did, Josie and I snuck into Seaside (yes, the town where the Truman show was filmed, and yes, it is FREAKY to be in such a homogeneous community with all their white picket fences and lighthouse balconies and brick-paved streets) for some alone time.
We sat at an outdoor bistro where we ordered Stella Artois on tap and also brie crepes and crab cakes. AMAZING! It rocked. We talked about our lives and men and relationships and our futures and drank stella and ate crepes. We also made fun of all the cookie cutter people who walked by with their fake tans (we're at the beach people!) and collagen lips (freaky) and dyed hair (what's wrong with being a brunette or a red head really?) And we ooh'd and ahh'd over all the cute little kids (yes, we're both thirty and baby-bearing age). And again, rolled our eyes at the four year old boy in a plaid jumper with a sea horse on the front of it and prayed his parents are Brittish.
It was a good day. My burned bottom is diminishing which is encouraging. I may even get to lay on my stomach today. I also managed to burn both wrists and both elbows that first day too which has proved to be quite the nuisance. Who knew you could burn your elbows? We girls also discovered one can burn the inside of one's belly button. But mine's not too bad.
The girls also burried James in the sand yesterday. Here's a picture of their masterpiece...
We sat at an outdoor bistro where we ordered Stella Artois on tap and also brie crepes and crab cakes. AMAZING! It rocked. We talked about our lives and men and relationships and our futures and drank stella and ate crepes. We also made fun of all the cookie cutter people who walked by with their fake tans (we're at the beach people!) and collagen lips (freaky) and dyed hair (what's wrong with being a brunette or a red head really?) And we ooh'd and ahh'd over all the cute little kids (yes, we're both thirty and baby-bearing age). And again, rolled our eyes at the four year old boy in a plaid jumper with a sea horse on the front of it and prayed his parents are Brittish.
It was a good day. My burned bottom is diminishing which is encouraging. I may even get to lay on my stomach today. I also managed to burn both wrists and both elbows that first day too which has proved to be quite the nuisance. Who knew you could burn your elbows? We girls also discovered one can burn the inside of one's belly button. But mine's not too bad.
The girls also burried James in the sand yesterday. Here's a picture of their masterpiece...
Life Without Limbs
No matter what your religious affiliation (or lack thereof) you have GOT to see this video about a man born without arms or legs, and how he has learned to live and live fully in this life...
Don't mind the subtitles, it's in English but translated into Japanese...
Don't mind the subtitles, it's in English but translated into Japanese...
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Florida Day 3
The waves were huge and crazy. When my 280 pounde friend dove into a wave yesterday, the undertow actually threw him down to the bottom where his face smacked against the sand.
When the "storm" (light showers) blew in today then, this is what we saw...
When the "storm" (light showers) blew in today then, this is what we saw...
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Florida Day 2
Before the mimosa's and the severe sunburn, I went to the beach in the morning, by myself.
And I discovered that God is like a wave. I know poets the world over have compared God to oceans and other water entities, but today I learned that God is a wave.
Sometimes God, like a wave, laps quietly against the shore, so steady and serene is God's presence that it almost goes unnoticed like the heartbeat of the earth. Other times God sends all Her fury crashing up against the sand in ferocious waves that roll and swirl. The beach surrenders beneath, no longer a complacent partner in beauty but a steady recipient of the wailing that is God's anguish and sometimes anger. God is so many things: soft, loud, gentle, avenging; but always constant. Constant like a wave. And powerful too, never ceasing, though at times some may forget the waves as common or monotonous. Worse yet, some don't even notice any more the sweet sound of the washing waves ever present in their ear. So near so often, they forget the awe that is the ocean. But I, a newcomer to this part of the world am aghast at the wonder of it all. The presence and power, serenity and ferocity that are the waves are also God who will keep pressing upon the shore regardless of whether we pay Her mind or not. She is our God and she will keep rolling within and about us. Our God is a wave. Our God is a wave. And She laps upon the shore.
And I discovered that God is like a wave. I know poets the world over have compared God to oceans and other water entities, but today I learned that God is a wave.
Sometimes God, like a wave, laps quietly against the shore, so steady and serene is God's presence that it almost goes unnoticed like the heartbeat of the earth. Other times God sends all Her fury crashing up against the sand in ferocious waves that roll and swirl. The beach surrenders beneath, no longer a complacent partner in beauty but a steady recipient of the wailing that is God's anguish and sometimes anger. God is so many things: soft, loud, gentle, avenging; but always constant. Constant like a wave. And powerful too, never ceasing, though at times some may forget the waves as common or monotonous. Worse yet, some don't even notice any more the sweet sound of the washing waves ever present in their ear. So near so often, they forget the awe that is the ocean. But I, a newcomer to this part of the world am aghast at the wonder of it all. The presence and power, serenity and ferocity that are the waves are also God who will keep pressing upon the shore regardless of whether we pay Her mind or not. She is our God and she will keep rolling within and about us. Our God is a wave. Our God is a wave. And She laps upon the shore.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Florida Day 1
Twelve hours of travel.
Visit to Josie's grandma at the hospital. Favorite quote of the day, "I don't know who I'll vote for. I'm not sure any of them are capable to handle international affairs. Even Miss Hillary is stressed out. She's getting un-pretty. She needs to stay feminine. We were born to be feminine."
Arrive at beach. FREAK OUT. Pray that God will call me to minister to a beach community. While standing on the edge of the waves, 20 year old drunk girl asks me, "So... what's your story?" Sigh and fail to tell it. Deliver minimal details including, "I'm thirty, I'm a minister, I'm single. I own a house and have two cats and a dog." She responds with second favorite quote of the day, "It's not about how old you ARE, it's about how old you LOOK."
Excellent.
Ridiculous signs and bumper stickers seen on travels across south: "Keep on truckin' for Jesus" and "We catch 'em, God cleans em." Text friend from residency program and indulge in laughing at Christians in the South.
Pray that God will call me to a church up North.
Talk to mom (a part-time minister) on phone who tells me of a man she spoke with today who actually told her, "The Holy Spirit gave me this church's phone number." To which my ever practical and ballsy mom replied, "So you looked it up in the phone book, good."
Said man also asked her incredulously, "You let homos into your church?!"
Vacations rock.
Visit to Josie's grandma at the hospital. Favorite quote of the day, "I don't know who I'll vote for. I'm not sure any of them are capable to handle international affairs. Even Miss Hillary is stressed out. She's getting un-pretty. She needs to stay feminine. We were born to be feminine."
Arrive at beach. FREAK OUT. Pray that God will call me to minister to a beach community. While standing on the edge of the waves, 20 year old drunk girl asks me, "So... what's your story?" Sigh and fail to tell it. Deliver minimal details including, "I'm thirty, I'm a minister, I'm single. I own a house and have two cats and a dog." She responds with second favorite quote of the day, "It's not about how old you ARE, it's about how old you LOOK."
Excellent.
Ridiculous signs and bumper stickers seen on travels across south: "Keep on truckin' for Jesus" and "We catch 'em, God cleans em." Text friend from residency program and indulge in laughing at Christians in the South.
Pray that God will call me to a church up North.
Talk to mom (a part-time minister) on phone who tells me of a man she spoke with today who actually told her, "The Holy Spirit gave me this church's phone number." To which my ever practical and ballsy mom replied, "So you looked it up in the phone book, good."
Said man also asked her incredulously, "You let homos into your church?!"
Vacations rock.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
45 minutes and counting.
Can you believe it grandma? Can you believe one of your grand-children lived to be thirty?! That must be overwhelming. I tried to imagine being my grandma today, being a grandma and living to see my grand-daughter's 30th birthday... but deciding it improbably, i retired that thought from my brain. You know, my mother, on her 30th birthday, found out she was pregnant, with me. Strange. And impossible. That won't happen to me, I can guarantee it.
I will not live their lives, I will live my own.
Not really much choice in the matter.
43 minutes.
My birthday party was Friday night. Amelia and Michelle threw it because they pretty much rock and they love me and were probably tired of seeing me mope around the house (that was before I had decided to embrace being thirty).
They threw me a hawaiian themed party with fruit and grass skirts and lei's and they even put the Hawaiian words for things up around the house and even on the dog. It was awesome.
I bought a cute dress for the party at Parts and Labor, one of my sister's favorite stores on South Congress. I couldn't resist.
It was perfect! Plus I was too paranoid to actually wear a grass skirt and coconuts...
The party itself was uncharacteristically small with quite the variety of people, but it was good and people seemed to enjoy themselves.
I was SO tired from the long day I'd had (acupuncture, shopping, eye doctor, waxing studio, yard work, house work, laundry...) that at 1:30am I feel into bed on my new sheets given to me by Joy and Angie. They were so soft and for the first time in a long time, I slept like a baby.
I also got a water gun, $2, and a crazy hat as gifts for my birthday.
An exciting part of the evening was when friends clamored that they wanted to see the hukilau dance. I and two other women had learned the dance in grade school. In three different states mind you (Missouri, Arkansas and Texas) we each learned virtually the same dance and miracle of all miracles, we remembered it. Mostly. And my fearless friends video-taped it. Yes, I'm on Youtube. Don't say I never accomplished anything in my life. I made it on TV... sort of.
And yes, by that point in the evening I had become chilled and decided to put on my mother's old pair of grey sweatpants with my christmas socks on underneith my dress. I don't think you can see the socks in the video.
So yeah, it was a good party.
23 minutes.
18 minutes.
Are you waiting like I am? Counting down the minutes, sitting in your living room wrapped in a blanket on the couch, lighted only by the glow of the open computer?
My youngest sister called and marveled at my age. Of course, I suppose I marvel at hers as well. When I left home she was in middle school. In my dreams, when I sleep, she's never older than eleven. Strange. Now she's 23.
16 minutes.
Shit. I don't have anything profound or enlightening or even interesting to say. Surely something should happen or will happen. (Something other than the hail storm that blew in and broke my kitchen window). Someone should fall in love or get kissed or something. A winning lottery ticket (although I didn't buy one). A banking error in my favor.
Something.
In the room the women go
Talking of Michaelangelo
I may measure my life in coffee spoons, but my life matters. It matters.
My coffee spoons mean something to me. My life is special, delicate and I measure it carefully, meticulously, so much so, you may call me crazy, but it's my life. My life. And it's the only one I've got.
So I laugh and I cry and I overanalyze.
And you will love me just the same.
3 minutes.
Just the same, just the same.
"It's my birthday," she said quietly in the dark room.
Can you believe it grandma? Can you believe one of your grand-children lived to be thirty?! That must be overwhelming. I tried to imagine being my grandma today, being a grandma and living to see my grand-daughter's 30th birthday... but deciding it improbably, i retired that thought from my brain. You know, my mother, on her 30th birthday, found out she was pregnant, with me. Strange. And impossible. That won't happen to me, I can guarantee it.
I will not live their lives, I will live my own.
Not really much choice in the matter.
43 minutes.
My birthday party was Friday night. Amelia and Michelle threw it because they pretty much rock and they love me and were probably tired of seeing me mope around the house (that was before I had decided to embrace being thirty).
They threw me a hawaiian themed party with fruit and grass skirts and lei's and they even put the Hawaiian words for things up around the house and even on the dog. It was awesome.
I bought a cute dress for the party at Parts and Labor, one of my sister's favorite stores on South Congress. I couldn't resist.
It was perfect! Plus I was too paranoid to actually wear a grass skirt and coconuts...
The party itself was uncharacteristically small with quite the variety of people, but it was good and people seemed to enjoy themselves.
I was SO tired from the long day I'd had (acupuncture, shopping, eye doctor, waxing studio, yard work, house work, laundry...) that at 1:30am I feel into bed on my new sheets given to me by Joy and Angie. They were so soft and for the first time in a long time, I slept like a baby.
I also got a water gun, $2, and a crazy hat as gifts for my birthday.
An exciting part of the evening was when friends clamored that they wanted to see the hukilau dance. I and two other women had learned the dance in grade school. In three different states mind you (Missouri, Arkansas and Texas) we each learned virtually the same dance and miracle of all miracles, we remembered it. Mostly. And my fearless friends video-taped it. Yes, I'm on Youtube. Don't say I never accomplished anything in my life. I made it on TV... sort of.
And yes, by that point in the evening I had become chilled and decided to put on my mother's old pair of grey sweatpants with my christmas socks on underneith my dress. I don't think you can see the socks in the video.
So yeah, it was a good party.
23 minutes.
18 minutes.
Are you waiting like I am? Counting down the minutes, sitting in your living room wrapped in a blanket on the couch, lighted only by the glow of the open computer?
My youngest sister called and marveled at my age. Of course, I suppose I marvel at hers as well. When I left home she was in middle school. In my dreams, when I sleep, she's never older than eleven. Strange. Now she's 23.
16 minutes.
Shit. I don't have anything profound or enlightening or even interesting to say. Surely something should happen or will happen. (Something other than the hail storm that blew in and broke my kitchen window). Someone should fall in love or get kissed or something. A winning lottery ticket (although I didn't buy one). A banking error in my favor.
Something.
In the room the women go
Talking of Michaelangelo
I may measure my life in coffee spoons, but my life matters. It matters.
My coffee spoons mean something to me. My life is special, delicate and I measure it carefully, meticulously, so much so, you may call me crazy, but it's my life. My life. And it's the only one I've got.
So I laugh and I cry and I overanalyze.
And you will love me just the same.
3 minutes.
Just the same, just the same.
"It's my birthday," she said quietly in the dark room.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
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