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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Chris Johnson says I go to church more than the Holy Ghost.

He might be right.

But I love my job. I love it so much, and I know that I am blessed (sorry for sounding so churchy) beyond measure. Holy shit (sorry grandma), I can't even comprehend how many things fell into place and how seriously face-in-the-sand i should be with my reverance towards God.

But...

Isn't that always the case with us humans. But... However... If only...

And I found myself with tears streaming down my face Monday night thinking just these things. Why would God ask me to leave the man I loved to pursue a profession? Why would God bring two people together just to divide them with separate callings? Why give love and then take it away with gifts?

I don't know the answer. And to be quite honest, I realized that in the past two years, I haven't placed much stock in God's presence in my love life. Maybe that's why I've been making the dating decisions I have.

Of course this two years follows the leaving of someone I loved due not to incompatibily of spirits, but incompatibility of professions.

I just hope the members of a certain Christian worship band know that's why. So when they (and you) sing "Glory to Him, He is holy," they know what holiness cost. Love.

Hello and Good-bye. We are called to different lives.

I am Jeremiah. And I may not be called to normalcy. And I may not be called to love. But I am called to preach and "love" under very unique circumstances. And so it goes.

And so it goes.

And You're the only one who knows.

2 comments:

Michelle said...

Ann, when are you going to write a book so I devour it while laughing and crying all at the same time. I am eagerly awaiting many books, one by my husband and one by you.

I can't figure out what to say about the post, it made me sad. I love you annipoo!
Michelle

lynnette said...

ann, i loved this post. you wrote it so beautifully. i am happy to hear good news about your job. i am sad to hear about love lost...or perhaps more accurately, set aside out of necessity. i don't get it either.