I'm in Waco!!!
But I'll be returning to Austin tomorrow.
We made it though. Much love to Jen Wags, Chris, Todd, and Bethany. They loaded and unloaded and kept me sane throughout the day.
Tomorrow morning, church at Dayspring with the Eades, and then off to Austin to finish some last minute things. Church at Mosaic in the evening and then sleep until kingdom comes. Man am I tired.
More soon to come . . .
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
life is crazy right now. crazy. i helped sabrina clean house to get ready to put it on the market on thursday and cut my finger on a cactus. then i went to top drawer where i volunteer and shot off part of another finger with the pricing gun. so two bandaids and two boo boo's later, i look like a nerd. rough day on the hands.
rough weekend for the soul too. i am packing my life's collections into brown cardboard boxes to re-dump in the Eades garage. sigh. how can i be moving back to waco and returning to my job at the buzz? i'm rooming with a 9 year old.
actually, it'll be great. i'm just so emotional right now . . . packing, moving, trying to find a job, (the right job), receiving love and words of wishes from my friends. how can i feel so old and feel so young at the same time? when will life begin?
except that i've got it all wrong, and its already begun. mine just doesn't look like everyone else's. well, it looks more like the lives of my friends here in austin . . . but it certainly doesn't look like anyone's that i went to college with. they have careers, houses, salaries, stability, husbands and children even. strange how we could be the same age and have the same education and yet be in such different places.
but blah blah blah. everyone down here is thinking "i've heard this before. it's the same old same old. write something new or funny." and everyone up there (missouri and beyond) is thinking, "get a job you freak."
oh well. the melting pot of my life. god only knows what'll get thrown in next.
rough weekend for the soul too. i am packing my life's collections into brown cardboard boxes to re-dump in the Eades garage. sigh. how can i be moving back to waco and returning to my job at the buzz? i'm rooming with a 9 year old.
actually, it'll be great. i'm just so emotional right now . . . packing, moving, trying to find a job, (the right job), receiving love and words of wishes from my friends. how can i feel so old and feel so young at the same time? when will life begin?
except that i've got it all wrong, and its already begun. mine just doesn't look like everyone else's. well, it looks more like the lives of my friends here in austin . . . but it certainly doesn't look like anyone's that i went to college with. they have careers, houses, salaries, stability, husbands and children even. strange how we could be the same age and have the same education and yet be in such different places.
but blah blah blah. everyone down here is thinking "i've heard this before. it's the same old same old. write something new or funny." and everyone up there (missouri and beyond) is thinking, "get a job you freak."
oh well. the melting pot of my life. god only knows what'll get thrown in next.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
So what's up with my job? Everyone wants to know. Here it is . . . I sent a DVD to UBC a church near Miami Florida www.ubcmiami.org. In addition, I have a phone interview tomorrow with Bridgeway Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan www.bridgewaycommunity.org. There's also a potential church plant in Nashville.
What about the homeless issue you ask? Well, next weekend I will be moving back in with the Eades in Waco. That's right, I will be sharing a room with Olivia who is 9. And yes, I'll be back at the Buzz. *sigh* But, Wes wants to hire me part time (6-8 hours a week) at Friedens UCC in Reisel as a worship coordinator and leader, and also to run a parents night out for the Reisel community once a month. So that'll be good and will be another thing to add to the old resume.
So that's the scoop. I'd really appreciate your thoughts and prayers. Although I will probably come back for Church sunday nights and still til Tuesday for my small group, I don't know how long that will last. I'm finally really happy in Austin (the first time since I moved here a year ago), so it will be sad to leave. But Waco's not bad and I do love the Eades. Plus I'll have Julie, Paul and Jessy, Renee and Billy . . . it's all good in the hood. We'll see what happens.
What about the homeless issue you ask? Well, next weekend I will be moving back in with the Eades in Waco. That's right, I will be sharing a room with Olivia who is 9. And yes, I'll be back at the Buzz. *sigh* But, Wes wants to hire me part time (6-8 hours a week) at Friedens UCC in Reisel as a worship coordinator and leader, and also to run a parents night out for the Reisel community once a month. So that'll be good and will be another thing to add to the old resume.
So that's the scoop. I'd really appreciate your thoughts and prayers. Although I will probably come back for Church sunday nights and still til Tuesday for my small group, I don't know how long that will last. I'm finally really happy in Austin (the first time since I moved here a year ago), so it will be sad to leave. But Waco's not bad and I do love the Eades. Plus I'll have Julie, Paul and Jessy, Renee and Billy . . . it's all good in the hood. We'll see what happens.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Last night my pastor preached on living in the reality of abundance as opposed to the myth of scarcity. He used the text of Mark 8 where time and time again the disciples forgot the abundance Jesus created with food, and the pharisees asked for a real sign. He said that often we cling to a myth of scarcity, always fearing the worst and arguing over the little we have. Rather we should note the provisions of God and live with an awareness of the abundance God creates. Creation ex nihlio, you know.
So I thought I would take a minute to tell you a story. On Friday evening I had friends over to see Lynnette who was in town for Shanna Beth's wedding. Two of my married friends let themselves into my house and began stacking the fridge with beer and warming up saki, etc. I was in my bedroom tidying up a bit and singing Alanis Morisette at the top of my lungs.
A bit later when I went to the fridge to grab aforementioned beer, I noticed a jar of jam with my name written on it. It's label revealed that it was from Whole Foods, a store that my roommate (who has already moved out) usually shopped at. "Oh, Erin must not have wanted this and left it for me," I said, kind of surprised. "No . . ." married friend said (she and he shall remain anonymous), "check the pantry." And as I opened the pantry I discovered that it had was stacked full of food: soups, mac and cheese, cus cus, rice, cereal . . . and then I turned around and saw fruit galore on the counter: peaches, apples, bananas, pears, cantalope. "What the . . . ?" as I realized what my two friends had done. "We know you're trying to make that last AISD paycheck stretch as long as you can, and we wanted to make sure you are eating, so we went grocery shopping for you."
Talk about abundance in scarcity. My heart throbs still at the shock. That was the coolest thing I've experienced in a long time.
Talking with Lynette about it later, I remarked that I felt guilty. "Don't," she said. "When I was living with Jolynna, she gave me a break in rent that last semester I was in school and that really saved me. She had a job and I didn't. I'll never forget that. So last semester Sam and I, now that we both have good jobs, sent Jana Lee a check with a significant portion of money to help her get through some hard times while in school. And when you get in a place 'of abundance' [my words, not hers], you can turn around and help someone else out."
How truly beautiful. Community is so redemptive. Holly Eades hired me this past week to deep clean her house. Wes Eades hired me to preach and sing at the church he's interim pastor at. WPBC hired me to preach last month. Friends at church are on task for finding me a place to live come July 31st. And now I have a pantry full of food. Thank you God for your abundance in friends. The scarier life becomes, the more you provide. Thank you.
So I thought I would take a minute to tell you a story. On Friday evening I had friends over to see Lynnette who was in town for Shanna Beth's wedding. Two of my married friends let themselves into my house and began stacking the fridge with beer and warming up saki, etc. I was in my bedroom tidying up a bit and singing Alanis Morisette at the top of my lungs.
A bit later when I went to the fridge to grab aforementioned beer, I noticed a jar of jam with my name written on it. It's label revealed that it was from Whole Foods, a store that my roommate (who has already moved out) usually shopped at. "Oh, Erin must not have wanted this and left it for me," I said, kind of surprised. "No . . ." married friend said (she and he shall remain anonymous), "check the pantry." And as I opened the pantry I discovered that it had was stacked full of food: soups, mac and cheese, cus cus, rice, cereal . . . and then I turned around and saw fruit galore on the counter: peaches, apples, bananas, pears, cantalope. "What the . . . ?" as I realized what my two friends had done. "We know you're trying to make that last AISD paycheck stretch as long as you can, and we wanted to make sure you are eating, so we went grocery shopping for you."
Talk about abundance in scarcity. My heart throbs still at the shock. That was the coolest thing I've experienced in a long time.
Talking with Lynette about it later, I remarked that I felt guilty. "Don't," she said. "When I was living with Jolynna, she gave me a break in rent that last semester I was in school and that really saved me. She had a job and I didn't. I'll never forget that. So last semester Sam and I, now that we both have good jobs, sent Jana Lee a check with a significant portion of money to help her get through some hard times while in school. And when you get in a place 'of abundance' [my words, not hers], you can turn around and help someone else out."
How truly beautiful. Community is so redemptive. Holly Eades hired me this past week to deep clean her house. Wes Eades hired me to preach and sing at the church he's interim pastor at. WPBC hired me to preach last month. Friends at church are on task for finding me a place to live come July 31st. And now I have a pantry full of food. Thank you God for your abundance in friends. The scarier life becomes, the more you provide. Thank you.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
My mother sent me a link to "What's Your Theological Worldview?" at Quizfarm. She got it off of somebody's blog. Oh Carol. She's really getting into this blogging thing.
It told me . . .
"You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this."
Emergent/Postmodern 79%
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 61%
Classical Liberal 61%
Neo orthodox 57%
Roman Catholic 54%
Modern Liberal 46%
Charismatic/Pentecostal 39%
Reformed Evangelical 32%
Fundamentalist 0%
Shocker.
It told me . . .
"You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this."
Emergent/Postmodern 79%
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 61%
Classical Liberal 61%
Neo orthodox 57%
Roman Catholic 54%
Modern Liberal 46%
Charismatic/Pentecostal 39%
Reformed Evangelical 32%
Fundamentalist 0%
Shocker.
I'm in Nashville!!!
I have a beautiful friend named Lynnette who married a fabulous man who, as a gift to his wife, flew me out to visit her and bought us tickets to see Alanis Morisette live and in person.
Yes, I'm having a heart attack.
Nashville, Lynnette, and Alanis. Whoa. I'm a little overwhelmed.
I flew in yesterday afternoon and the three of us had dinner at the old Union Station at a restaurant called the Flying Saucer. Today I slept in, ate lunch with Lynnette at a sports bar with excellent tuna wraps, and am finally managing to do something productive like check email and write on my blog.
Probably around four I will begin taking deep breaths, apply make-up and do a few vocal warm-ups to be sure I'm ready to sing along tonight.
Oh my gosh, I've never been to a real concert before. Never seen anyone "big" live before. I mean I've seen some smaller performances and some Christian singers in the 90s, and of course the David Crowder Band, but I've never seen anyone like this. No Counting Crows concerts, U2, Sinead, Dave Matthews, no one like this. I can't wait. This is surreal. I'm finally doing something cool.
Way to go Ann. Your baby sister starting seeing the aforementioned bands in high school.
I have a beautiful friend named Lynnette who married a fabulous man who, as a gift to his wife, flew me out to visit her and bought us tickets to see Alanis Morisette live and in person.
Yes, I'm having a heart attack.
Nashville, Lynnette, and Alanis. Whoa. I'm a little overwhelmed.
I flew in yesterday afternoon and the three of us had dinner at the old Union Station at a restaurant called the Flying Saucer. Today I slept in, ate lunch with Lynnette at a sports bar with excellent tuna wraps, and am finally managing to do something productive like check email and write on my blog.
Probably around four I will begin taking deep breaths, apply make-up and do a few vocal warm-ups to be sure I'm ready to sing along tonight.
Oh my gosh, I've never been to a real concert before. Never seen anyone "big" live before. I mean I've seen some smaller performances and some Christian singers in the 90s, and of course the David Crowder Band, but I've never seen anyone like this. No Counting Crows concerts, U2, Sinead, Dave Matthews, no one like this. I can't wait. This is surreal. I'm finally doing something cool.
Way to go Ann. Your baby sister starting seeing the aforementioned bands in high school.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
1900 miles later, I find myself in Austin again.
St. Joe was packed with fun things to do: Alex's wedding, My father's 60th birthday, Amy successfully finishing the boards, working Nancy and Carol's third annual garage sale and preaching at WPBC. Not to mention dominoes with grandma, movies with mom, eating at Mimi's with a fabulously cute waitress named Emily Jane, shopping excursions, eating out all the time and visiting old friends and family.
Thank you St. Jo Mo for another memorable trip.
The only unfortunate part of the vacation was finding a letter in my bedroom announcing that the organization who lent me money in college have finally figured out that I've graduated. Needless to say, they want their money back. Let me just add that to my list of bills. No problem. I'm sure I'll find a high paying job with benefits and I'll be able to pay you back very quickly and efficiently.
Such is life. The beauty and the bills. Oh well, on I go.
St. Joe was packed with fun things to do: Alex's wedding, My father's 60th birthday, Amy successfully finishing the boards, working Nancy and Carol's third annual garage sale and preaching at WPBC. Not to mention dominoes with grandma, movies with mom, eating at Mimi's with a fabulously cute waitress named Emily Jane, shopping excursions, eating out all the time and visiting old friends and family.
Thank you St. Jo Mo for another memorable trip.
The only unfortunate part of the vacation was finding a letter in my bedroom announcing that the organization who lent me money in college have finally figured out that I've graduated. Needless to say, they want their money back. Let me just add that to my list of bills. No problem. I'm sure I'll find a high paying job with benefits and I'll be able to pay you back very quickly and efficiently.
Such is life. The beauty and the bills. Oh well, on I go.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Need a preacher, teacher, pastor or educator? Here's my resume!
To Whom It May Concern:
In the interest of investigating ministry opportunities throughout the nation, I am submitting my résumé to colleagues, friends and family. Although résumés are effective in communicating facts concerning a person’s history, education and gifts, they offer little in the category of personality. Please allow me a moment to share with you my story.
The oldest of three girls, I grew to be articulate and responsible. Although my younger sisters may have called me “bossy” growing up, this attribute proved as asset later in life as I am able to take charge of situations where leadership is lacking, and assess where action needs to be taken. I was raised in a northern Missouri town affectionately called St. Jo Mo. Most of my family still resides in Missouri, however, the rest of us located in assorted places from Pennsylvania to Hawaii to Minnesota to Texas. Although I am a single adult, my family remains my most treasured relationship. In addition, my community across the U.S. has become my family.
As the daughter of a director, I grew up in the theatre and have a strong appreciation for the arts; I love discovering God’s truth in the artistic creations of all people. As a writer, preacher, teacher and singer, my gifts lie in education and creative communication: this is my passion. From Godspell to Les Misérables, from the David Crowder Band to Sinéad O’Conner, from Veggie Tales to the Simpson’s, my Christian worldview interacts with culture on many levels as I learn about God through a multitude of mediums. Consequently, my goal is to find a ministry position where my education, personality, spiritual gifts, and personal skills complement the vision of an existing church striving to claim truth where we find it in our world today.
From a very young age, my life has been dedicated to ministry both inside and out of church buildings. From board rooms to coffee shops, to theatres and halfway houses, all ground is sacred and its people worthy of redemption. My theology of hope and social justice shapes my life as I strive to play my part in ushering in the Kingdom of God. Can I detail completely what that looks like, or how it is accomplished? No. But through the Bible, church tradition and our personal experiences, I believe we can begin to discern what God’s Kingdom means. When Christians seek to love God and our neighbors as Christ commissioned us in each of the four gospels, we begin to glimpse that Kingdom.
My experience and insight can be strong allies to the ministry of any church. I relate well to people outside the Christian tradition, and seek to move believers into a deeper faith spiritually, emotionally and socially. My enthusiasm for worship and liturgy enables me to inspire praise of God through song, message, images and silence.
Unique experiences and results include:
Gaining recognition for comprehensive knowledge of the postmodern generations and their viewpoints, and how they impact perspectives on Faith.
Studying abroad and volunteering in Montpellier, France and Arad, Israel, as well as Mexico, England, Morocco, Turkey, India, Thailand and China.
Engaging those involved in ministry toward deeper faith and spiritual maturity through sound, relevant teaching and relationship building.
I will work hard to achieve God’s desired results and look forward to discussing how I can contribute to your ministry’s future success. I can be reached at the above e-mail address or phone number. Thank you.
EDUCATION
GEORGE W. TRUETT THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY – Waco, Texas 2004
Master of Divinity: Theology
• University Ministerial Scholar: awarded 100% tuition scholarship for academic and ministerial excellence.
• Successfully completed Classes.
o Preaching I & II
o Texts and Communication
o Christian Texts and Traditions I-III (Historical Theology)
o Christian Scriptures I-IV (Old and New Testaments)
o Life and Work of the Pastor
o Clinical Pastoral Orientation (Pastoral Care in Hospitals)
o Christian Ministry (Pastoral Care and Counseling)
o Christian World Mission
o Religion and Worldview (traveled to England, Turkey, Morocco, India, Thailand and China)
o Studies in 20th Century Theology: Evangelical Theology
o Theological Capstone: Faith and the Arts
o Christian Worship
o Greek
o Hebrew
o Spiritual Formations
WILLIAM JEWELL COLLEGE – Liberty, Missouri 2000
Bachelor of Arts: Dual Majors in English and Religion
Magna Cum Laude
• Studied and volunteered in Montpellier, France for a semester with the Partnership for Service Learning.
• Studied Archaeology in Israel for a semester with Missouri Western State College and Baylor University.
• Awarded Outstanding English Major.
• Awarded Outstanding Religion Major.
• Rewarded Paul Lees Sturgis Scholarship.
• Rewarded F. Gano Chance Memorial Scholarship.
INTERNSHIP
LAKESHORE BAPTIST CHURCH – Waco, Texas 2004
Pastoral Intern
• Completed one semester theological education by studying under Rev. Dorisanne Cooper at a local Waco congregation. Lakeshore exists to reach forward thinking adults and families interested in embodying their philosophy of Christianity both spiritually and socially in our complex world.
PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE (PAID AND VOLUNTEER)
MOSAIC CHURCH – Austin, Texas 2004 – Present
Lay Preacher and Teacher
• Served as preacher in absence of Pastor Don Vanderslice.
• Created and facilitated small discussion groups on Genesis and Exodus.
• Worked with a church committee to develop a multi-sensory four story worship “labyrinth.”
• Designed and led worship in absence of worship leader Seth Woods.
• Organized volunteer network for church
FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH – Austin, Texas 2005
Guest Preacher
• Preached by invitation, Maundy Thursday Holy Week Luncheon Worship Service.
WYATT PARK BAPTIST CHURCH – St. Joseph, Missouri 1996 - 2005
Guest Preacher, Youth Bible Study Teacher/Counselor and Worship Leader
• Preached in absence of Pastor Dr. Jimmy Albright.
• Taught and counseled annually at “Spark,” a youth discipleship weekend. Wrote material for High School students.
• Developed techniques for working with today’s youth under the supervision of an accomplished youth minister: organized and facilitated youth retreats, redesigned youth center, developed youth Bible study materials, wrote and directed youth skits.
• Led worship for youth at events and for adults in Sunday morning worship.
• Sang as guest performer.
UNIVERSITY BAPTIST CHURCH – Waco, Texas 2001 - 2004
Lay Preacher, Deacon, and Teacher
• Served as a Deacon for cutting edge church designed to integrate faith and culture within the post-modern generation of students at Baylor University.
• Developed personal preaching voice by delivering sermons in absence of Pastor Kyle Lake.
• Created and conducted liturgy and sermon for 2004 Maundy Thursday evening service.
• Innovatively taught Sunday school classes studying biblical books: Romans, Colossians and Genesis 1-4.
• Created community group designed to meet the needs of men and women with eating disorders, depression and self-esteem issues.
• Served on Ordination Committee.
CENTRIFUGE – Jefferson City, Tennessee 2000
Counselor and Teacher
• Taught 11th and 12th grade Bible study.
• Taught college preparatory class dealing with the scholarly aspects of faith and practical living skills.
• Directed weekly skits for youth, organized staff skits.
• Assisted in worship design and sang in worship services.
• Led team-building and recreational activities.
WILLIAM JEWELL COLLEGE – Liberty, Missouri 1996 - 2000
Preacher, Teacher and Worship Leader, Chaplain
• Preached at Parent’s Weekend worship service.
• Taught and counseled youth at Windermere Camp for Bible Preaching Week and Youth Development Week.
• Functioned as a worship leader and guest performer.
• Founded worship and bible study organization seeking to engage and enable Greek students in their Christian faith.
• Elected to serve Delta Zeta Sorority as chaplain and philanthropist.
LATHROP CHRISTIAN CHURCH – Lathrop, Missouri 1998
Contemporary Worship Leader
• Prepared and led worship for the contemporary Sunday morning worship service.
REFERENCES
Dr. Roger Olson, Rev. Dorisanne Cooper, Rev. Don Vanderslice, Rev. Kyle Lake, Rev. Gerald Small, Dr. Roger Paynter
Come on now, you know you want to hire me . . .
To Whom It May Concern:
In the interest of investigating ministry opportunities throughout the nation, I am submitting my résumé to colleagues, friends and family. Although résumés are effective in communicating facts concerning a person’s history, education and gifts, they offer little in the category of personality. Please allow me a moment to share with you my story.
The oldest of three girls, I grew to be articulate and responsible. Although my younger sisters may have called me “bossy” growing up, this attribute proved as asset later in life as I am able to take charge of situations where leadership is lacking, and assess where action needs to be taken. I was raised in a northern Missouri town affectionately called St. Jo Mo. Most of my family still resides in Missouri, however, the rest of us located in assorted places from Pennsylvania to Hawaii to Minnesota to Texas. Although I am a single adult, my family remains my most treasured relationship. In addition, my community across the U.S. has become my family.
As the daughter of a director, I grew up in the theatre and have a strong appreciation for the arts; I love discovering God’s truth in the artistic creations of all people. As a writer, preacher, teacher and singer, my gifts lie in education and creative communication: this is my passion. From Godspell to Les Misérables, from the David Crowder Band to Sinéad O’Conner, from Veggie Tales to the Simpson’s, my Christian worldview interacts with culture on many levels as I learn about God through a multitude of mediums. Consequently, my goal is to find a ministry position where my education, personality, spiritual gifts, and personal skills complement the vision of an existing church striving to claim truth where we find it in our world today.
From a very young age, my life has been dedicated to ministry both inside and out of church buildings. From board rooms to coffee shops, to theatres and halfway houses, all ground is sacred and its people worthy of redemption. My theology of hope and social justice shapes my life as I strive to play my part in ushering in the Kingdom of God. Can I detail completely what that looks like, or how it is accomplished? No. But through the Bible, church tradition and our personal experiences, I believe we can begin to discern what God’s Kingdom means. When Christians seek to love God and our neighbors as Christ commissioned us in each of the four gospels, we begin to glimpse that Kingdom.
My experience and insight can be strong allies to the ministry of any church. I relate well to people outside the Christian tradition, and seek to move believers into a deeper faith spiritually, emotionally and socially. My enthusiasm for worship and liturgy enables me to inspire praise of God through song, message, images and silence.
Unique experiences and results include:
Gaining recognition for comprehensive knowledge of the postmodern generations and their viewpoints, and how they impact perspectives on Faith.
Studying abroad and volunteering in Montpellier, France and Arad, Israel, as well as Mexico, England, Morocco, Turkey, India, Thailand and China.
Engaging those involved in ministry toward deeper faith and spiritual maturity through sound, relevant teaching and relationship building.
I will work hard to achieve God’s desired results and look forward to discussing how I can contribute to your ministry’s future success. I can be reached at the above e-mail address or phone number. Thank you.
EDUCATION
GEORGE W. TRUETT THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY – Waco, Texas 2004
Master of Divinity: Theology
• University Ministerial Scholar: awarded 100% tuition scholarship for academic and ministerial excellence.
• Successfully completed Classes.
o Preaching I & II
o Texts and Communication
o Christian Texts and Traditions I-III (Historical Theology)
o Christian Scriptures I-IV (Old and New Testaments)
o Life and Work of the Pastor
o Clinical Pastoral Orientation (Pastoral Care in Hospitals)
o Christian Ministry (Pastoral Care and Counseling)
o Christian World Mission
o Religion and Worldview (traveled to England, Turkey, Morocco, India, Thailand and China)
o Studies in 20th Century Theology: Evangelical Theology
o Theological Capstone: Faith and the Arts
o Christian Worship
o Greek
o Hebrew
o Spiritual Formations
WILLIAM JEWELL COLLEGE – Liberty, Missouri 2000
Bachelor of Arts: Dual Majors in English and Religion
Magna Cum Laude
• Studied and volunteered in Montpellier, France for a semester with the Partnership for Service Learning.
• Studied Archaeology in Israel for a semester with Missouri Western State College and Baylor University.
• Awarded Outstanding English Major.
• Awarded Outstanding Religion Major.
• Rewarded Paul Lees Sturgis Scholarship.
• Rewarded F. Gano Chance Memorial Scholarship.
INTERNSHIP
LAKESHORE BAPTIST CHURCH – Waco, Texas 2004
Pastoral Intern
• Completed one semester theological education by studying under Rev. Dorisanne Cooper at a local Waco congregation. Lakeshore exists to reach forward thinking adults and families interested in embodying their philosophy of Christianity both spiritually and socially in our complex world.
PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE (PAID AND VOLUNTEER)
MOSAIC CHURCH – Austin, Texas 2004 – Present
Lay Preacher and Teacher
• Served as preacher in absence of Pastor Don Vanderslice.
• Created and facilitated small discussion groups on Genesis and Exodus.
• Worked with a church committee to develop a multi-sensory four story worship “labyrinth.”
• Designed and led worship in absence of worship leader Seth Woods.
• Organized volunteer network for church
FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH – Austin, Texas 2005
Guest Preacher
• Preached by invitation, Maundy Thursday Holy Week Luncheon Worship Service.
WYATT PARK BAPTIST CHURCH – St. Joseph, Missouri 1996 - 2005
Guest Preacher, Youth Bible Study Teacher/Counselor and Worship Leader
• Preached in absence of Pastor Dr. Jimmy Albright.
• Taught and counseled annually at “Spark,” a youth discipleship weekend. Wrote material for High School students.
• Developed techniques for working with today’s youth under the supervision of an accomplished youth minister: organized and facilitated youth retreats, redesigned youth center, developed youth Bible study materials, wrote and directed youth skits.
• Led worship for youth at events and for adults in Sunday morning worship.
• Sang as guest performer.
UNIVERSITY BAPTIST CHURCH – Waco, Texas 2001 - 2004
Lay Preacher, Deacon, and Teacher
• Served as a Deacon for cutting edge church designed to integrate faith and culture within the post-modern generation of students at Baylor University.
• Developed personal preaching voice by delivering sermons in absence of Pastor Kyle Lake.
• Created and conducted liturgy and sermon for 2004 Maundy Thursday evening service.
• Innovatively taught Sunday school classes studying biblical books: Romans, Colossians and Genesis 1-4.
• Created community group designed to meet the needs of men and women with eating disorders, depression and self-esteem issues.
• Served on Ordination Committee.
CENTRIFUGE – Jefferson City, Tennessee 2000
Counselor and Teacher
• Taught 11th and 12th grade Bible study.
• Taught college preparatory class dealing with the scholarly aspects of faith and practical living skills.
• Directed weekly skits for youth, organized staff skits.
• Assisted in worship design and sang in worship services.
• Led team-building and recreational activities.
WILLIAM JEWELL COLLEGE – Liberty, Missouri 1996 - 2000
Preacher, Teacher and Worship Leader, Chaplain
• Preached at Parent’s Weekend worship service.
• Taught and counseled youth at Windermere Camp for Bible Preaching Week and Youth Development Week.
• Functioned as a worship leader and guest performer.
• Founded worship and bible study organization seeking to engage and enable Greek students in their Christian faith.
• Elected to serve Delta Zeta Sorority as chaplain and philanthropist.
LATHROP CHRISTIAN CHURCH – Lathrop, Missouri 1998
Contemporary Worship Leader
• Prepared and led worship for the contemporary Sunday morning worship service.
REFERENCES
Dr. Roger Olson, Rev. Dorisanne Cooper, Rev. Don Vanderslice, Rev. Kyle Lake, Rev. Gerald Small, Dr. Roger Paynter
Come on now, you know you want to hire me . . .
Sunday, June 12, 2005
This is the sermon I preached today June 12 at Wyatt Park Baptist Church.
I want to echo George’s sentiments last week about being invited here to preach. I remember George and the boys who lived with Jim Stuck. I was in the youth group at the time with Summer Campbell, Sue Ellen Ray, Laura Hamilton, and Angela Porter, and since Summer Campbell and I were close friends, she and I were occasionally found tailing all the older boys, the friends of Jana and Shannon, her older sisters. And now I come in on the tails of George again. George spoke last week of repentance, of turning around from the sin that sends us to death so that we may receive life. If you didn’t grow up in the church, allow me to simplify: repenting means saying you’re sorry for the sorry stuff you’ve done and committing to change.
“But why change?” Many will ask. “I like my life. I don’t do anything necessarily bad. I don’t murder or steal, heck I haven’t even cheated on my husband. I do my taxes, I go to church, and I attend my kid’s tee-ball games. I’m a stellar citizen.” And besides, many justify, “I don’t even believe in hell anyway! Hell is a hyperbole: a trick of words and metaphors to scare us into ‘loving’ a god.”
So, what’s the point? Eternal life? For some, yes, that is the point. That ticket into heaven, that guarantee of eternal freedom from the gnashing of teeth. Please don’t hear me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with heaven. But I wonder, could there be more to Christianity than someday?
I work as a permanent substitute at a high school on the South East side of Austin. This means virtually nothing to you in Missouri, but in Austin the words South East triggers some serious imagery. My high school is mostly Hispanic with some African Americans, and only enough Caucasians for me to count on one hand. But its “ethnic diversity” has nothing to do with integrating cultures or learning in an accelerated environment. Rather it has everything to do with poverty, immigration and the survival of the fittest. Three weeks before school ended, a gang (two cars full) jumped one of our students walking home from school. They were beating him with a lead pipe when one of our Assistant Principals saw him and jumped out of her car to save him. She screamed for help, but no one else stopped. Two large men across the street kept right on walking – no one wants to get involved in gang wars. On the last day of school there were threats of a drive by shooting. Add that tension to our pregnant, drug pushing, illiterate students (many without parents), and you’ve got a real party in East Austin.
Now there is some serious repentance that needs to go on there, right? No part of what I just described is holy or righteous. No part clean or atoned for. Right? Pre-marital sex, drug abuse, child abuse, underage drinking, disrespect, unchecked aggression, negligent parenting, rape, stalking, swearing that would make a sailor look tame . . . you name it, we got it. It’s easy for us to spot a bruise and point a finger at the fist that made it. It’s not so easy to spot the scars on our hearts we create ourselves.
No one’s a perfect parent. No one’s a perfect daughter. No one’s a perfect business partner, or teacher, or pastor or waitress. We all screw up: we lose our tempers, we cut corners financially, we step on others to get ahead, we criticize our neighbors, chew out our bosses behind their backs, and lament that our children have not grown up to be just like us. We vote for the guy with the biggest tax cuts but forget to tithe or give back to the community. We like to watch the girls volleyball team, but not because we enjoy the sport. We believe an environmental consciousness is healthy and even fashionable at times, but we don’t recycle. We whine about our weight but refuse to eat right or exercise. We see our kids wasting away, but are afraid to talk to them about eating disorders. We feel bad about poor people so we give them a dollar on the street instead of an umbrella or the coat off our back.
Have I struck a nerve? I do not intend to accuse. I had to dig through the mess I’ve made of my heart just to say these things today. I’ve been to hell and back dealing with my own shortcomings and my list of grievances against myself is not small. I need help . . . and I need hope.
Please turn in your Bibles with me to Lamentations 3:17-32. Lamentations puts to paper the pain Israel felt after Jerusalem fell to Babylon and they were carried off into exile. It is not the book most people turn to for hope, but follow along with me, I’ll be reading from the Message Translation.
17 I gave up on life altogether. I've forgotten what the good life is like. I said to myself, "This is it. I'm finished. GOD is a lost cause." I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I remember it all--oh, how well I remember -- the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: GOD's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with GOD (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left.
GOD proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from GOD. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst. Why? Because the Lord won't ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
Last month was my birthday. And on my special day, when I went into my supervisor, Laurie’s office, she handed me a gift – a small candle in a beautiful container. She smiled and said she thought it looked like it had crosses on it. She knows I volunteer a lot at my church. But then she looked at me, and I saw her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know if I ever told you,” she said. “My son died a year and a half ago. He would have turned 28 May 2nd. But he caught a disease that ate away at his heart, and he was gone in six weeks. I grew up in the church,” she told me. “I used to believe in God, I don’t anymore.”
Laurie has lost hope. You see, some of our hearts are broken not only by our own sin, but by circumstances beyond our control. If you’ve heard the word cancer in the doctor’s diagnosis, you know what I mean. If you’ve ever awakened to find your spouse in love with another person, you know what it means to be a victim of sin. If you’ve lost it all in a fire or flood, if you’ve been passed over on a job because of your race or gender, if you’ve been a victim of emotional, sexual or physical abuse, you know the pain this world distributes.
And you know it’s time for hope. Verse 33.
33 God takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way:
When prisoners of the land are crushed under foot,
When human rights are perverted in the courts of the Most High,
When the evidence in a case is tampered with – does the Lord not see it?
Hebrew scholars note that each chapter in Lamentations follows an alphabet pattern with the first word in a stanza beginning with alef, A, the second with bet, B, and so on. Some speculate that this system creates a helpful memory aid – but this does not seem to be the case here. Rather, limiting the verses from alef to tav (A to Z) puts a limit on the amount of sorrow to be expressed for the sake of the individual, a helpful way of creating closure, of not allowing the suffering to continue. However, the use of the alphabet may also be a way to communicate the completeness of grief suffered – the full breadth of pain from A to Z.
Sometimes at my church in Austin, we sing old spirituals: “Soon we’ll be done with the trouble of the world, the trouble of the world, the trouble of the world. Soon we’ll be done with the trouble of the world, and going to live with God. No more weepin’ and a wailin’, no more weepin’ and a wailin’, no more weepin’ and a wailin’, going to live with God.” And I like it when we sing those songs cause I can just sing my heart out – sing my sin away, sing my pain away, and I know that someday a heaven awaits me.
But I have some other favorites too that remind me of what awaits me now. Christian songwriter Don Chaffer sings, “In the gas station bathroom by the condom machine, I heard the word of the Lord. He said ‘Take off your shoes, this is holy ground too. You know I came for the sick and the bored.’” Pretty blunt lyrics for a Christian to sing, right? But fortunately, we don’t just believe in a God of someday, but a God of now. He is not just a God of the holy, but a God of the broken too. We believe in a God, Jesus Christ, who was born poorer than any of us here to a young teenager and a man in a cave reeking of cow dung. We believe in a God who stepped into this world full of selfishness, bitterness, envy and lust, to try and communicate how much He loves us. We believe in a God who hugged lepers, clothed prostitutes and fed the beggars. We believe in a God who partied with people who cheated their neighbors, slept with their neighbors, and killed their neighbors. We believe in a God who might just have volunteered to work with students and faculty at a school in South East Austin. Antoine de Saint Exupery wrote, “A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.” When Jesus looks at us, he does not see sorry sinners, but beautiful, full humans made in the image of God. Jesus sees each of us where we are and offers to walk through the valleys and the mountains, the highs and the lows alongside us, to cry when we cry and laugh when we laugh. And that gives me hope to get through today and tomorrow.
55 "I called out your name, O GOD, called from the bottom of the pit.
You listened when I called out, "Don't shut your ears! Get me out of here! Save me!'
You came close when I called out. You said, "It's going to be all right.'
"You took my side, Lord; you brought me back alive!
The good news is hope has come. Hope is not a person, but a God, Jesus Christ, who became a person to understand our pain and take it on as His own. He came to demonstrate what it means to love one another. Hope has entered the world to usher in a new kingdom calling for repentance, justice and the opening of our eyes and hearts to the story of God. And Hope calls us to allow that story to integrate with our own. Because we now see, because we now hear, because we now feel what it means to have hope, our story changes from one of selfishness and pain to one of caring and worship. The Deuteronomic code in the Old Testament, the Israelite’s “motto for life,” the Golden Rule we now call it, is repeated by Jesus in each of the four gospels as the greatest commandment, “Love the Lord your God and love your neighbor.” Love God and take care of each other. In other words, now that you have found Hope amidst sorrow, worship. And now that you have found ultimate love, learn to love others, for indeed, Hope compels us to. You may be able to offer hope through a meal, a donation, a helping hand, a tutorial, music, art, a conversation, even through the telling of your own story. No matter who you are or who you aren’t, what you do or what you’ve done, the pain you’ve caused or the pain you’ve inherited, no one is beyond the healing hope of Jesus Christ. The Good News is hope has come.
“When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrow like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well – Hope has come.”
Amen.
I want to echo George’s sentiments last week about being invited here to preach. I remember George and the boys who lived with Jim Stuck. I was in the youth group at the time with Summer Campbell, Sue Ellen Ray, Laura Hamilton, and Angela Porter, and since Summer Campbell and I were close friends, she and I were occasionally found tailing all the older boys, the friends of Jana and Shannon, her older sisters. And now I come in on the tails of George again. George spoke last week of repentance, of turning around from the sin that sends us to death so that we may receive life. If you didn’t grow up in the church, allow me to simplify: repenting means saying you’re sorry for the sorry stuff you’ve done and committing to change.
“But why change?” Many will ask. “I like my life. I don’t do anything necessarily bad. I don’t murder or steal, heck I haven’t even cheated on my husband. I do my taxes, I go to church, and I attend my kid’s tee-ball games. I’m a stellar citizen.” And besides, many justify, “I don’t even believe in hell anyway! Hell is a hyperbole: a trick of words and metaphors to scare us into ‘loving’ a god.”
So, what’s the point? Eternal life? For some, yes, that is the point. That ticket into heaven, that guarantee of eternal freedom from the gnashing of teeth. Please don’t hear me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with heaven. But I wonder, could there be more to Christianity than someday?
I work as a permanent substitute at a high school on the South East side of Austin. This means virtually nothing to you in Missouri, but in Austin the words South East triggers some serious imagery. My high school is mostly Hispanic with some African Americans, and only enough Caucasians for me to count on one hand. But its “ethnic diversity” has nothing to do with integrating cultures or learning in an accelerated environment. Rather it has everything to do with poverty, immigration and the survival of the fittest. Three weeks before school ended, a gang (two cars full) jumped one of our students walking home from school. They were beating him with a lead pipe when one of our Assistant Principals saw him and jumped out of her car to save him. She screamed for help, but no one else stopped. Two large men across the street kept right on walking – no one wants to get involved in gang wars. On the last day of school there were threats of a drive by shooting. Add that tension to our pregnant, drug pushing, illiterate students (many without parents), and you’ve got a real party in East Austin.
Now there is some serious repentance that needs to go on there, right? No part of what I just described is holy or righteous. No part clean or atoned for. Right? Pre-marital sex, drug abuse, child abuse, underage drinking, disrespect, unchecked aggression, negligent parenting, rape, stalking, swearing that would make a sailor look tame . . . you name it, we got it. It’s easy for us to spot a bruise and point a finger at the fist that made it. It’s not so easy to spot the scars on our hearts we create ourselves.
No one’s a perfect parent. No one’s a perfect daughter. No one’s a perfect business partner, or teacher, or pastor or waitress. We all screw up: we lose our tempers, we cut corners financially, we step on others to get ahead, we criticize our neighbors, chew out our bosses behind their backs, and lament that our children have not grown up to be just like us. We vote for the guy with the biggest tax cuts but forget to tithe or give back to the community. We like to watch the girls volleyball team, but not because we enjoy the sport. We believe an environmental consciousness is healthy and even fashionable at times, but we don’t recycle. We whine about our weight but refuse to eat right or exercise. We see our kids wasting away, but are afraid to talk to them about eating disorders. We feel bad about poor people so we give them a dollar on the street instead of an umbrella or the coat off our back.
Have I struck a nerve? I do not intend to accuse. I had to dig through the mess I’ve made of my heart just to say these things today. I’ve been to hell and back dealing with my own shortcomings and my list of grievances against myself is not small. I need help . . . and I need hope.
Please turn in your Bibles with me to Lamentations 3:17-32. Lamentations puts to paper the pain Israel felt after Jerusalem fell to Babylon and they were carried off into exile. It is not the book most people turn to for hope, but follow along with me, I’ll be reading from the Message Translation.
17 I gave up on life altogether. I've forgotten what the good life is like. I said to myself, "This is it. I'm finished. GOD is a lost cause." I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I remember it all--oh, how well I remember -- the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: GOD's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with GOD (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left.
GOD proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from GOD. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst. Why? Because the Lord won't ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
Last month was my birthday. And on my special day, when I went into my supervisor, Laurie’s office, she handed me a gift – a small candle in a beautiful container. She smiled and said she thought it looked like it had crosses on it. She knows I volunteer a lot at my church. But then she looked at me, and I saw her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know if I ever told you,” she said. “My son died a year and a half ago. He would have turned 28 May 2nd. But he caught a disease that ate away at his heart, and he was gone in six weeks. I grew up in the church,” she told me. “I used to believe in God, I don’t anymore.”
Laurie has lost hope. You see, some of our hearts are broken not only by our own sin, but by circumstances beyond our control. If you’ve heard the word cancer in the doctor’s diagnosis, you know what I mean. If you’ve ever awakened to find your spouse in love with another person, you know what it means to be a victim of sin. If you’ve lost it all in a fire or flood, if you’ve been passed over on a job because of your race or gender, if you’ve been a victim of emotional, sexual or physical abuse, you know the pain this world distributes.
And you know it’s time for hope. Verse 33.
33 God takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way:
When prisoners of the land are crushed under foot,
When human rights are perverted in the courts of the Most High,
When the evidence in a case is tampered with – does the Lord not see it?
Hebrew scholars note that each chapter in Lamentations follows an alphabet pattern with the first word in a stanza beginning with alef, A, the second with bet, B, and so on. Some speculate that this system creates a helpful memory aid – but this does not seem to be the case here. Rather, limiting the verses from alef to tav (A to Z) puts a limit on the amount of sorrow to be expressed for the sake of the individual, a helpful way of creating closure, of not allowing the suffering to continue. However, the use of the alphabet may also be a way to communicate the completeness of grief suffered – the full breadth of pain from A to Z.
Sometimes at my church in Austin, we sing old spirituals: “Soon we’ll be done with the trouble of the world, the trouble of the world, the trouble of the world. Soon we’ll be done with the trouble of the world, and going to live with God. No more weepin’ and a wailin’, no more weepin’ and a wailin’, no more weepin’ and a wailin’, going to live with God.” And I like it when we sing those songs cause I can just sing my heart out – sing my sin away, sing my pain away, and I know that someday a heaven awaits me.
But I have some other favorites too that remind me of what awaits me now. Christian songwriter Don Chaffer sings, “In the gas station bathroom by the condom machine, I heard the word of the Lord. He said ‘Take off your shoes, this is holy ground too. You know I came for the sick and the bored.’” Pretty blunt lyrics for a Christian to sing, right? But fortunately, we don’t just believe in a God of someday, but a God of now. He is not just a God of the holy, but a God of the broken too. We believe in a God, Jesus Christ, who was born poorer than any of us here to a young teenager and a man in a cave reeking of cow dung. We believe in a God who stepped into this world full of selfishness, bitterness, envy and lust, to try and communicate how much He loves us. We believe in a God who hugged lepers, clothed prostitutes and fed the beggars. We believe in a God who partied with people who cheated their neighbors, slept with their neighbors, and killed their neighbors. We believe in a God who might just have volunteered to work with students and faculty at a school in South East Austin. Antoine de Saint Exupery wrote, “A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.” When Jesus looks at us, he does not see sorry sinners, but beautiful, full humans made in the image of God. Jesus sees each of us where we are and offers to walk through the valleys and the mountains, the highs and the lows alongside us, to cry when we cry and laugh when we laugh. And that gives me hope to get through today and tomorrow.
55 "I called out your name, O GOD, called from the bottom of the pit.
You listened when I called out, "Don't shut your ears! Get me out of here! Save me!'
You came close when I called out. You said, "It's going to be all right.'
"You took my side, Lord; you brought me back alive!
The good news is hope has come. Hope is not a person, but a God, Jesus Christ, who became a person to understand our pain and take it on as His own. He came to demonstrate what it means to love one another. Hope has entered the world to usher in a new kingdom calling for repentance, justice and the opening of our eyes and hearts to the story of God. And Hope calls us to allow that story to integrate with our own. Because we now see, because we now hear, because we now feel what it means to have hope, our story changes from one of selfishness and pain to one of caring and worship. The Deuteronomic code in the Old Testament, the Israelite’s “motto for life,” the Golden Rule we now call it, is repeated by Jesus in each of the four gospels as the greatest commandment, “Love the Lord your God and love your neighbor.” Love God and take care of each other. In other words, now that you have found Hope amidst sorrow, worship. And now that you have found ultimate love, learn to love others, for indeed, Hope compels us to. You may be able to offer hope through a meal, a donation, a helping hand, a tutorial, music, art, a conversation, even through the telling of your own story. No matter who you are or who you aren’t, what you do or what you’ve done, the pain you’ve caused or the pain you’ve inherited, no one is beyond the healing hope of Jesus Christ. The Good News is hope has come.
“When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrow like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well – Hope has come.”
Amen.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
I just watched In Good Company a great flic with Dennis Quaid and the girl from Girl With A Pearl Earring and Lost In Translation. As I said, it was good. Pretty funny and heartwarming. But if I'm really honest with myself, it gave me anxiety.
I'm only one year older than the kid who gets the big corporate promotion and takes over as Dennis Quaid's boss. He talks about being "scared shitless" and having "no idea what he's doing." He drinks like 8 cups of coffee and then heads a board meeting stuttering and spounting out phrases like "awesome" and "are you totally psyched". It was one of those moments when the audience gets that horrible, stomach turning, I'm-hurting-cause-he's-making-a-fool-of-himself moments. It was Bridget Jones at the microphone introducing Mr. Fittsherbert. And all of the sudden, I experience a rush panic over my body as I realized that could be me in a board room at a church trying to discuss budgets and God and relationships with a group of men who have been "doing church" for years and years.
What am I thinking? I can't do this! I'm a good preacher. I'm a good writer. I'm a good teacher. But I can't "run" a church. I don't know the first thing about that sort of crap. Yeah, I took the classes but, please! Can you just picture me and a bunch of guys with grey hair staring at each other across the Bible, the budget, a couple cups of coffee and the church bylaws?
I may be getting in way over my head.
I'm only one year older than the kid who gets the big corporate promotion and takes over as Dennis Quaid's boss. He talks about being "scared shitless" and having "no idea what he's doing." He drinks like 8 cups of coffee and then heads a board meeting stuttering and spounting out phrases like "awesome" and "are you totally psyched". It was one of those moments when the audience gets that horrible, stomach turning, I'm-hurting-cause-he's-making-a-fool-of-himself moments. It was Bridget Jones at the microphone introducing Mr. Fittsherbert. And all of the sudden, I experience a rush panic over my body as I realized that could be me in a board room at a church trying to discuss budgets and God and relationships with a group of men who have been "doing church" for years and years.
What am I thinking? I can't do this! I'm a good preacher. I'm a good writer. I'm a good teacher. But I can't "run" a church. I don't know the first thing about that sort of crap. Yeah, I took the classes but, please! Can you just picture me and a bunch of guys with grey hair staring at each other across the Bible, the budget, a couple cups of coffee and the church bylaws?
I may be getting in way over my head.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Tonight my father and I shared our 60th and 27th birthday party at the house. Carla and Tom Campbell were there as were Shannon and Gerald Small and the boys. Emily drove up and Ben Leimkuhler joined us too - and of course, my grandparents. We grilled out, but to mother's dismay (read anger) no one sat outside on the patio amongst the fruits of her gardening labor, for rain, thunder and lightening crashed down on us about half an hour before dinner.
I admit, it feels good to be in St Joseph, although for the first time in all my adult visits, I find myself longing to be around people my own age. I guess that's why I called Ben to invite him over at last minute. I realized most all my friends in St Jo were in their fifties or older! Normally, this doesn't bother me. I love my older friends - they're very cool, but for some reason, I'm feeling estranged. Last night I even called over to the Nelson's just to see if any of their kids (my surgate siblings) were by chance in town. They weren't.
So I watched Team America: World Police with my mom. That might have been a mistake. Holy cow. Who wants to watch puppets have sex? Please. I appreciated the satire and the catchy tunes ("Team America **** yeah"), but I could have done without the extensive vulgarity. I recognize that had I seen this movie without my mother, and say, with Lance, Josie or Phil instead, I perhaps would have been more entertained. Instead, mother and I just kept exchanging mortified glances. Oh well. Tonight brought Spanglish and some serious tears, and the night before last was Vanity Fair. I bet tomorrow and Thursday hold Phantom and Connie and Carla as dad and I both now have these two flics in our possession.
Anyway, if you're under 35 and in St Jo Mo at some point in the next 13 days, feel free to give me a call. I'm feeling restless and trying to put my life together. If I move back to the area (remember, I'm unemployed again and homeless come August), I want to know what's in store for me.
Other than screening movies for my parents.
I admit, it feels good to be in St Joseph, although for the first time in all my adult visits, I find myself longing to be around people my own age. I guess that's why I called Ben to invite him over at last minute. I realized most all my friends in St Jo were in their fifties or older! Normally, this doesn't bother me. I love my older friends - they're very cool, but for some reason, I'm feeling estranged. Last night I even called over to the Nelson's just to see if any of their kids (my surgate siblings) were by chance in town. They weren't.
So I watched Team America: World Police with my mom. That might have been a mistake. Holy cow. Who wants to watch puppets have sex? Please. I appreciated the satire and the catchy tunes ("Team America **** yeah"), but I could have done without the extensive vulgarity. I recognize that had I seen this movie without my mother, and say, with Lance, Josie or Phil instead, I perhaps would have been more entertained. Instead, mother and I just kept exchanging mortified glances. Oh well. Tonight brought Spanglish and some serious tears, and the night before last was Vanity Fair. I bet tomorrow and Thursday hold Phantom and Connie and Carla as dad and I both now have these two flics in our possession.
Anyway, if you're under 35 and in St Jo Mo at some point in the next 13 days, feel free to give me a call. I'm feeling restless and trying to put my life together. If I move back to the area (remember, I'm unemployed again and homeless come August), I want to know what's in store for me.
Other than screening movies for my parents.
Monday, May 30, 2005
I made it to Missouri. In three days I drove over nine hundred miles to visit Amy in Columbia. I met her med school friends, did her laundry, cleaned out her back closet and hung out with my cousins at the pool. Downtown Columbia is a lot like Austin only much smaller. I finally ate at Shakespeare's, a great pizza joint, and I finally saw Ruthie perform live (her website is under family). She was quite good and I felt almost like a mother or grandmother would as I filled with pride watching her perform.
My wallet however emptied as I was charged five dollars at the door (not to mention the cost of beer and tip) to get into a bar that had only about ten people in it, mostly locals. I met the man who brings his long haired wiener dog to the shows, and the man who hides his wiener under a dress and fake breasts, Natalie. There was also a drunken young man with a severe limp saying hello to everyone, four Hispanic cowboys, three friends of the guy singing on stage, the bouncer, the bartender, my cousin the hippie and me. Definitely not what I anticipated. In fact, it was probably the most random assortment of people I've ever sat in the same smoky room with. Usually you can peg a bar: the Library has mostly frat kids, the Ritz gets the punk kids, the Black Cat all the middle age reminiscers. But no one in this bar seemed to fit. We were all misfits looking for the end of a stressful week, a break before the dawn of day. We were there to hear Lux and be soothed by Ruth's pure tone and unique style.
And we were, sort of. Although I don't know if I could have relaxed at all being in Columbia worrying about my sister Amy non-stop. Not even cheap beer and good music could do the trick. But it was an evening, and it was Ruthie, and I was proud . . . and humored by the crowd.
And now I'm in St Jo Mo. The famous, the infamous. Hanging out with the rents and my grandparents, mulling over my life - my childhood, my future, and meeting kids I used to baby-sit who are now getting married. WTF? When did they grow up? When did I? And how much more growing up do I have to do before I'll be satisfied?
I don't know, but for now I'm resigning myself to a vacation in St. Joseph: garage sales, swimming pools, Sunday school dinners, what could be better? Perhaps another trip to Ruthie's bar with the dogs, transvestites and hippies. But St. Joe's got its own delights to offer I'm sure. I can only imagine what an evening at the Ho will have in store . . .
Until next time . . . this is Ann, signing off from the 1997 All American City. Sweet dreams and goodnight.
My wallet however emptied as I was charged five dollars at the door (not to mention the cost of beer and tip) to get into a bar that had only about ten people in it, mostly locals. I met the man who brings his long haired wiener dog to the shows, and the man who hides his wiener under a dress and fake breasts, Natalie. There was also a drunken young man with a severe limp saying hello to everyone, four Hispanic cowboys, three friends of the guy singing on stage, the bouncer, the bartender, my cousin the hippie and me. Definitely not what I anticipated. In fact, it was probably the most random assortment of people I've ever sat in the same smoky room with. Usually you can peg a bar: the Library has mostly frat kids, the Ritz gets the punk kids, the Black Cat all the middle age reminiscers. But no one in this bar seemed to fit. We were all misfits looking for the end of a stressful week, a break before the dawn of day. We were there to hear Lux and be soothed by Ruth's pure tone and unique style.
And we were, sort of. Although I don't know if I could have relaxed at all being in Columbia worrying about my sister Amy non-stop. Not even cheap beer and good music could do the trick. But it was an evening, and it was Ruthie, and I was proud . . . and humored by the crowd.
And now I'm in St Jo Mo. The famous, the infamous. Hanging out with the rents and my grandparents, mulling over my life - my childhood, my future, and meeting kids I used to baby-sit who are now getting married. WTF? When did they grow up? When did I? And how much more growing up do I have to do before I'll be satisfied?
I don't know, but for now I'm resigning myself to a vacation in St. Joseph: garage sales, swimming pools, Sunday school dinners, what could be better? Perhaps another trip to Ruthie's bar with the dogs, transvestites and hippies. But St. Joe's got its own delights to offer I'm sure. I can only imagine what an evening at the Ho will have in store . . .
Until next time . . . this is Ann, signing off from the 1997 All American City. Sweet dreams and goodnight.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Well, the turning of 27 was an interesting one. Probably the most exciting thing that happened was a call from a guy named Russ in Colorado who wished me Happy Birthday. Unfortunately our mutual friend chose to remain "anonymous." Why? I don't know. Who knows a guy named Russ who lives in Colorado? Big Phil? Wee One? I have no idea.
The day itself started off great. Mom called at 7am. Michelle, Joy and Rachel called at 7:30. "Happy New Year's!" Michelle hollered. "No wait. Wait. I mean, Merry Christmas! No that's not right. I've got it this time . . . Happy Fourth of July!"
My boss at school had a present waiting for me at her desk when I arrived at 8:30. She is one of the most giving people I know. She keeps quarters at her desk for kids who come by asking for money. And candy by her door. I love it.
But that's about where the cheer ended.
At lunch, I learned that a year and a half ago my boss lost her oldest son to an infection that ate his heart. After diagnosis, he was gone in six weeks. His birthday was May 3rd. He would have been 28. She said she'd been meaning to talk to me about it. "I was raised in the church," she told me. "I used to believe in God. I don't anymore."
She cried and I cried and then the bell rang and I cried some more when my 4th period hellians about pushed me over the edge.
Life has peaks and plateaus, beauty and bitterness. How to manage the paradox of it all is the question I wrestle with now.
The day itself started off great. Mom called at 7am. Michelle, Joy and Rachel called at 7:30. "Happy New Year's!" Michelle hollered. "No wait. Wait. I mean, Merry Christmas! No that's not right. I've got it this time . . . Happy Fourth of July!"
My boss at school had a present waiting for me at her desk when I arrived at 8:30. She is one of the most giving people I know. She keeps quarters at her desk for kids who come by asking for money. And candy by her door. I love it.
But that's about where the cheer ended.
At lunch, I learned that a year and a half ago my boss lost her oldest son to an infection that ate his heart. After diagnosis, he was gone in six weeks. His birthday was May 3rd. He would have been 28. She said she'd been meaning to talk to me about it. "I was raised in the church," she told me. "I used to believe in God. I don't anymore."
She cried and I cried and then the bell rang and I cried some more when my 4th period hellians about pushed me over the edge.
Life has peaks and plateaus, beauty and bitterness. How to manage the paradox of it all is the question I wrestle with now.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Last night at 3:45ish, I heard Zorba crying outside my window. Now Zorba's cries all sound the same. It's a deep throat, yet high pitched moan that sounds like a cat in pure toture. Knowing however, that this startling sound that woke me up was just my youngest cat, I went to the back door, opened it and let him inside.
Now, our normal early morning routine consists of him heading straight for the food and then straight for my bed where I try fruitlessly to fall back asleep. He jumps on my chest and begins licking my hands demanding to be pet and scratched to sleep. I usually comply. It is the responsibility of a mother.
But this morning Zorba didn't head straight for his dish or my bed. He sat in the living room and then outside my room and whined some more. This is not normal. Zorba only cries when he wants to be let into the house. Otherwise, he is just not a talker. He's a growler. He growls at me or Radley or a shoe when he's cranky, but he's not usually (unless he wants inside) a meower.
I was perplexed and cooed at him, coaxing him to be silent and go to bed. I refilled his dish with food, picked him up, tried to pet him, but to no avail. He always returned to moaning in the living room.
I eventually drifted back to sleep ignoring his mouth (another mark of a good mother). When I awoke in the morning however, Erin (my roommate) said, "Did you see the present the boys left for you last night?" Uh oh.
She heads off to the living room as I finish up brushing my teeth. "Oh no!," I hear. "It's gone!"
I enter the living room/dining room area and see a plethera of feathers, but no bird.
"There was a dead bird in here this morning when I let Radley in at 5am," she reported. "But it's gone now."
That's correct. The bird was gone: body, beak, feet and all. We searched to find it, supposing it had been batted underneith the couch, the chair, into my closet. No luck, no bird body. Only feathers fluttering about our feet.
So the babies struck again. Usually it's Radley who is my little hunter (remember the jay birds mom and dad?), but this was Zorba's fi
Now, our normal early morning routine consists of him heading straight for the food and then straight for my bed where I try fruitlessly to fall back asleep. He jumps on my chest and begins licking my hands demanding to be pet and scratched to sleep. I usually comply. It is the responsibility of a mother.
But this morning Zorba didn't head straight for his dish or my bed. He sat in the living room and then outside my room and whined some more. This is not normal. Zorba only cries when he wants to be let into the house. Otherwise, he is just not a talker. He's a growler. He growls at me or Radley or a shoe when he's cranky, but he's not usually (unless he wants inside) a meower.
I was perplexed and cooed at him, coaxing him to be silent and go to bed. I refilled his dish with food, picked him up, tried to pet him, but to no avail. He always returned to moaning in the living room.
I eventually drifted back to sleep ignoring his mouth (another mark of a good mother). When I awoke in the morning however, Erin (my roommate) said, "Did you see the present the boys left for you last night?" Uh oh.
She heads off to the living room as I finish up brushing my teeth. "Oh no!," I hear. "It's gone!"
I enter the living room/dining room area and see a plethera of feathers, but no bird.
"There was a dead bird in here this morning when I let Radley in at 5am," she reported. "But it's gone now."
That's correct. The bird was gone: body, beak, feet and all. We searched to find it, supposing it had been batted underneith the couch, the chair, into my closet. No luck, no bird body. Only feathers fluttering about our feet.
So the babies struck again. Usually it's Radley who is my little hunter (remember the jay birds mom and dad?), but this was Zorba's fi
Okay family, one week from today. Here is the long awaited list. I'm sorry it is so slow in coming. I am lamenting entering into my late 20s however. I'm sure you understand. We can celebrate when I come home at the end of May with grandma, grandpa, Amy and Emily, Carla and Tom, Shannon and Gerald, and Marsha. It'll be fun.
Ann’s 27th Birthday Wish List
-DVD Connie and Carla
-DVD Jesus Christ Superstar The Movie (1974 version) If not this then, CD Jesus Christ Superstar, the original Broadway cast
-CD “Prayer Cycle” various artists
-CD Quiet Lovely
-CD The Cranberries “No Need to Argue”
-CD Jet
-*Nintendo Game: Super Mario Brothers 2
-*Nintendo Game: Donkey Kong/Donkey Kong Jr.
-*Nintendo Game: Dr. Mario
-Book: Plan B by Anne Lamot (the sequel to Traveling Mercies)
-Book: Genesis: Translation and Commentary by Robert Alter
-Book: The Book of Exodus: a Critical Theological Commentary by Brevard S. Childs
-Book: Sinéad: Her Life And Music by Jimmy Guterman
-Sheets (double bed, taupe, cream, or some neutral color)
-Ink Cartridges color and black for HP1350; Hp Photo Paper
-Money to pay bills.
* These Nintendo games are easy to buy on Ebay – just punch in the name of the game and Nintendo NHS Game System. Jeremy can help you if you get confused.
Happy Shopping!
Ann’s 27th Birthday Wish List
-DVD Connie and Carla
-DVD Jesus Christ Superstar The Movie (1974 version) If not this then, CD Jesus Christ Superstar, the original Broadway cast
-CD “Prayer Cycle” various artists
-CD Quiet Lovely
-CD The Cranberries “No Need to Argue”
-CD Jet
-*Nintendo Game: Super Mario Brothers 2
-*Nintendo Game: Donkey Kong/Donkey Kong Jr.
-*Nintendo Game: Dr. Mario
-Book: Plan B by Anne Lamot (the sequel to Traveling Mercies)
-Book: Genesis: Translation and Commentary by Robert Alter
-Book: The Book of Exodus: a Critical Theological Commentary by Brevard S. Childs
-Book: Sinéad: Her Life And Music by Jimmy Guterman
-Sheets (double bed, taupe, cream, or some neutral color)
-Ink Cartridges color and black for HP1350; Hp Photo Paper
-Money to pay bills.
* These Nintendo games are easy to buy on Ebay – just punch in the name of the game and Nintendo NHS Game System. Jeremy can help you if you get confused.
Happy Shopping!
Monday, May 02, 2005
Austin ISD has done it again. After not receiving January or March's paychecks, I did manage to find my April paycheck in the mailbox Friday right on time. However, they only paid me $75 a day for my work, nevermind that that wage was two promotions ago. I currently make (as of last week) $115 a day, and on my last paycheck, I should have been paid $95 a day, but of course wasn't.
AISD, you're killin' me.
But at least some of it was there, so I am grateful for that I guess. Hopefully they will issue me another check soon with my supplementary income.
I am counting my blessings, to be sure (I'll be unemployed as of May 25th again), I am just never sure the package they'll come in.
AISD, you're killin' me.
But at least some of it was there, so I am grateful for that I guess. Hopefully they will issue me another check soon with my supplementary income.
I am counting my blessings, to be sure (I'll be unemployed as of May 25th again), I am just never sure the package they'll come in.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Two ear infections and a viral respiratory infection later, I am finally returning to my blog. Yes, blog I missed you. I cannot tell a lie. Not to mention, writhing in bed for five days with a 103.2 degree fever is never a positive experience.
Even the babies are sick. Over a week ago, the three of us developed a cough. My roommate's vet mom says it sounds like they have allergies. I of course got the viral infection. Oh well.
I am doing better. Fortunately, the illness fell over a weekend, so I only missed a day and a half of school. Beautiful Sarah Cooper took me to the doctor Saturday and stayed with me most of that day. She played my mom, insisting on drinking water, bathing in lukewarm water, and taking my medicine even if it gives me a tummy ache. She was a god-send, because it is HARD to be sick and live 2 days away from home. Otherwise you get really narcissistic about how no one loves you, no one visits, no one cares if you waste away to nothing . . . blah, blah, blah. I'm really good at it. So Sarah kept me sane, at least on Saturday.
And now I'm back at work, back at Mosaic events, and back at the job search. I finished my resume last night and need to write my cover letter this weekend. Fun times on the homefront.
Lots of love and phlegm,
Ann
Even the babies are sick. Over a week ago, the three of us developed a cough. My roommate's vet mom says it sounds like they have allergies. I of course got the viral infection. Oh well.
I am doing better. Fortunately, the illness fell over a weekend, so I only missed a day and a half of school. Beautiful Sarah Cooper took me to the doctor Saturday and stayed with me most of that day. She played my mom, insisting on drinking water, bathing in lukewarm water, and taking my medicine even if it gives me a tummy ache. She was a god-send, because it is HARD to be sick and live 2 days away from home. Otherwise you get really narcissistic about how no one loves you, no one visits, no one cares if you waste away to nothing . . . blah, blah, blah. I'm really good at it. So Sarah kept me sane, at least on Saturday.
And now I'm back at work, back at Mosaic events, and back at the job search. I finished my resume last night and need to write my cover letter this weekend. Fun times on the homefront.
Lots of love and phlegm,
Ann
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Ha ha, I gotcha. No more posting on 4-10-05. I figured out how to click "No Posts." Genius. I'm getting this blog thing down. 4-10-05 was getting out of hand, and though I love the encouragement, the rest of y'all were gettin' on my ever-lovin' last nerve. That's the nice way to put it.
I laid in bed this afternoon after an exhausting day of work, and contemplated my response to "the world" (must everything be so dramatic when we lie in bed brainstorming bright comebacks?). To be honest, it contained lots of words that my grandma wouldn't approve of, so instead of pouring out my heart about the absurdity of anyone not hiring because of gender; and the absurdity that we even allow our churches who bear Christ's name to even continue in their sexism; and the absurdity that we have to tolerate sexism and de-humanization, but people can't tolerate frusterated responses; and the absurdity that a friend compared me to a homosexual being hired at a church; add to that some angry words about Jesus in the Temple, and lots of son's-of and friggin's i got tired and fell asleep.
I'm better now, just worn out. My parents are disappointed I clicked "no reply," but they haven't been having this conversation for 8 years straight, in class and out of class. They (and neither have most of the men who blogged) haven't had people argue with them, throw scripture at them, write nasty bogs about them (remember that one lynnette?), or condemn them for being a woman trying to use her gift in the church.
It's fricking absurd. The irony is, the Westwinds thing didn't even upset me that much. I mean, it's not like I didn't expect rejection, I was just startled because it came from a church that I assumed (wrongly according to commentor #42 on my blog) would accept me. I'm smart enough to not apply at a church that says, "We are looking for a man with the following qualities . . ." or "We are a fundamental church looking for a shepherd . . ." Okay, come on. Obviously I won't get hired there. I was just surprised by Westwinds and felt like sharing with the rents and friends how difficult it is to find a job. Never did I know that it would have this response.
I feel like Brittany Spears.
I hate Brittany Spears.
I do wish I made as much money as Brittany Spears though. I cannot tell a lie.
Peace and goodbye. From here on out, it's dead fish and sermons.
I laid in bed this afternoon after an exhausting day of work, and contemplated my response to "the world" (must everything be so dramatic when we lie in bed brainstorming bright comebacks?). To be honest, it contained lots of words that my grandma wouldn't approve of, so instead of pouring out my heart about the absurdity of anyone not hiring because of gender; and the absurdity that we even allow our churches who bear Christ's name to even continue in their sexism; and the absurdity that we have to tolerate sexism and de-humanization, but people can't tolerate frusterated responses; and the absurdity that a friend compared me to a homosexual being hired at a church; add to that some angry words about Jesus in the Temple, and lots of son's-of and friggin's i got tired and fell asleep.
I'm better now, just worn out. My parents are disappointed I clicked "no reply," but they haven't been having this conversation for 8 years straight, in class and out of class. They (and neither have most of the men who blogged) haven't had people argue with them, throw scripture at them, write nasty bogs about them (remember that one lynnette?), or condemn them for being a woman trying to use her gift in the church.
It's fricking absurd. The irony is, the Westwinds thing didn't even upset me that much. I mean, it's not like I didn't expect rejection, I was just startled because it came from a church that I assumed (wrongly according to commentor #42 on my blog) would accept me. I'm smart enough to not apply at a church that says, "We are looking for a man with the following qualities . . ." or "We are a fundamental church looking for a shepherd . . ." Okay, come on. Obviously I won't get hired there. I was just surprised by Westwinds and felt like sharing with the rents and friends how difficult it is to find a job. Never did I know that it would have this response.
I feel like Brittany Spears.
I hate Brittany Spears.
I do wish I made as much money as Brittany Spears though. I cannot tell a lie.
Peace and goodbye. From here on out, it's dead fish and sermons.
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