The Happiest Ride On Earth

So I've been asked to comment on the happiest place on earth. We'll start with the happiest cruise on earth :)


That would be the famous "It's a Small World Ride." All I have to say is, "Awesome." I doubt any psychodelic drug I could get my hands on here in the hood today could compare to the Had-To-Have-Been-Seventies-Acid-Trip that is the happiest cruise on earth. It's amazing. All these "colors" and "worlds" and "cultures," it's badass.


And then at the end of the ride you enter LSD la la land where are the "people groups" are living together in one oddly white and blue world, playing, singing no doubt and of course, riding a ferris wheel.


My second favorite is Splash Mountain which tells the story of Brer Rabbit while getting you wet. It's awesome. I remember reading Brer Rabbit's story from a book at my grandma's house when I was a little girl. So it was nice to revisit it on Splash Mountain. The Scary Adventures of Snow White also tells the story of the movie in one easy ride.


And it was scary at one part. Seriously people, I jumped. Sitting. I startled, I guess. Whatever.

Cinderella's Carousel was right next to Snow White's ride, both of which I rode by myself while my buddies revisited Space Mountain for the second and third time. Ew. I don't like fast or bang your head side to side. I like Carousels.

I also like Funnel Cakes. I think they remind me of going to World's of Fun in Kansas City as a kid. So what did I do while my amigos were riding the roller coasters for the fifth and sixth time (I just threw up a little), I ordered a funnel cake with powered sugar and ATE THE WHOLE THING.

You heard me. By myself. The whole damn thing.

And it was awesome. Then I went shopping for about the seventh time in 24 hours. Also awesome. I love the pens. I bought myself a Belle pen (that's the princess I am) and a Nightmare Before Christmas pen. COOL!

My friends and I ended the day by returning to the hotel and then heading to a Chicago pizza parlor to spend our last night together gorging on pizza. Yum. And then we finished with Hearts (played on my new Pirates of the Caribbean cards) and eventually crashed.

Early the next morning, I barely remember waking up to Julie gently leaning over me and saying good-bye.


Just like on the Happiest Ride on Earth...

Kiss My McAss

Unlike McDreamy and McSteamy and even the McMansion built right next to my house, I HATE McDonalds. I'm not big on monopolies, but restaurants that advertise unhealthy substandard food to children really gets under my skin. Not to mention the known neuro-toxin they put on the inside of the chicken boxes to help preserve the smell of the food and well, like any decent human being, I avoid the place.

However, I have been known to eat there in dire emergencies like the one presenting itself last Thursday. Knowing I wouldn't get dinner for another 4 hours and not having had lunch, I joined Michelle and her sister Katie, who was also hungry in the drive-thru at McyDee's. We were on the way to Michelle's sonogram (more on that excitement later!) and it was the only restaurant nearby, so we stopped.

Katie and I decided to share the Chicken McNugget meal. Ew. I know. So we ordered it and pulled to the second window. However, by that time I realized I should have ordered a caffeinated beverage because I still had a long day ahead of me. Since it was the pay window, we figured we could still order so I dictated my request up to Katie for a coffee.

"You know, the one that's frozen with caramel?"
"You want a coffee on ice?"
"No, I want that new thing you're offering, the frozen coffee with caramel..."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"I just saw it on your menu, the caramel frappucino thing."
"That's starbucks."
"I know, but I want the new drink you're offering that's comparable to that."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Expletive. Just forget it Katie, forget it sir. Drive to the next window Katie."

We get to the next window where the next McMan hands us our food at which point I ask from the backseat for some hot mustard sauce to go with the nuggets. Yum. He hands two to Katie.

"And can I have some ranch?" she asks (remember we're sharing).
"I cannot give you more than that."
"Huh?"
"That's all I'm allowed to give you."
"What?"
At this point the unhappy, pregnant and soon to be sonogramed mother leans over and says,
"Katie give the man back ONE of the hot mustards and sir, give us a ranch. Please."

The transaction transpired. We all sighed irritatedly, but with most things we wanted in hand and turned the corner toward the perinatal clinic and what did we see? A TEN FOOT TALL ADVERTISEMENT FOR A McCafe. A McCafe.

Seriously?
McSeriously.

Customer Care at it's worst. Reason number 73 as to why I will never go to McDonalds again.

Saved By the... Blog

So about 12 hours after I posted my last blog I got a phone call from a friend in Nashville who's mom would be arriving that night in Disney World, and (you guessed it) I am welcome to give her a call!

I'm telling you, for all the weirdness of the week, it sure worked out well for me.

As I mentioned before, I had searched, pretty hard, to find someone going to Current who would want to play at DW (what I now call Disney World since we're now kinda on BFF terms) with me. Cody... not going. Rachel... not going. Tracie... not staying. Etc. Etc. Etc. Then I show up and find one of my best friends, Julie, at the retreat and she invites me to stay on with her at a hotel right across from Disney FOR FREE! Unfortunately for Julie, she took a tumble the second night of the Current Retreat (that's what happens when you skip worship Julis) and badly sprained her wrist.



So me staying with her turned out to be a blessing for her too since, well, when you're in a cast from fingertip to elbow, there's lots of things you can't do for yourself. Those things shall remain unnamed...

Her friends and colleagues from Wilshire Baptist where they are all residents were pretty cool peeps too.



One of them I knew from seminary. But the other three I just met and all were kind enough to allow me to join their journey (which included a 30 minute car ride with four men and two women in a five passenger vehicle. Yes, gimp girl i smooshed into the front seat together and yes it looked exactly like you're picturing it.

And then of course, there's the discovery of the plane ticket oversight. But, after blogging about it and getting the call from Sam, sure enough, his mom, LuAnn, picked me up and drove me to her resort IN THE PARK where again, I got free lodging and also a free park-hopping ticket to DW! I knew that Sam and Lynnette's family loved DW, but i did not quite understand the extent. This woman pulls out a BINDER and starts flipping through the pages to the back where she keeps her spare tickets! And the hotel we're at? It's called the Pop Culture Resort! Just wait for my report on that.

And not only does LuAnn love Disney, but she loves animals and after dropping off my stuff we promptly head to Animal Kingdom (where none of the Wilshire kids were interested in going). YES!!!

Of course, the morning of my last day there I received a string of phone calls about my alarm going off at the house and Clarence holding Janie back while the police inspected the inside. And while that turned out just to be a big wind that blew open the side door, I still haven't figured out what blew through me that last day. After eating breakfast and hopping on the plane back to Austin, I got sick. Motion sick, I thought. But as I changed clothes in the back of my other friend Julie's car who had picked me up from the airport, I discovered it was perhaps more than just motion sickness. And while I managed to squeeze inside the dress Julie'd brought for me and jump from the car into the church for the wedding, I didn't manage to keep the wedding feast inside like I'd hoped. Home early from the wedding, I tasted it a second time if you get my drift.

So while I had a blast at DW (and you will be getting more pictures and blogs soon enough) the trip was definitely tempered with sobriety at the end... or perhaps a nice little reminder that while I may have just experienced the happiest place on earth, I actually live in the most melodramatic place on earth. But hopefully between the Princesses and the puking, I'll find some normalcy in between.

The Happiest Place on Earth

So I am totally stupid when it comes to airplanes.

Listen to this. Once I went to a conference and I bought my plane tickets cheaply and in advance. When i arrived at the conference which was two days long I realized I had only booked myself to stay there ONE day so 24 hours after I arrived I returned to the airport to catch my flight back to Austin. No, I didn't wan't to pay the $100 to change my flight and stay an extra day. Fine, so i thought. The problem arrived when I arrived at the airport and learned I had remembered incorrectly and that indeed I had booked myself to stay for two days and so, of course, now I was a day early to the airport. At which place I did pay $100 to change my ticket to that very day and hour because I was too embarrassed to cab it back to the retreat center and admit my stupid mistake.

I know, right?

Fast forward to January. I search for a month, polling friends: who's staying longer after our Current Retreat in Orlando this year? Who wants to stay longer and go to Disney World with me? Do any of my friends want to fly down and hang out with me? No takers except a couple from my church who are very couple-y and who have two kids and will be away from said kids and so I don't want to be with them and infringe on their time. Oh well. No happy place for me.

Sunday I arrived in Orlando and discovered my good friend Julie is here at the conference and she and her fellow residents are staying longer!! Thrilled, I pay $100 to put my flight on hold for some other time and buy an $86 ticket back to Austin for Saturday morning.

Julie is flying out Friday morning. As are all her friends. Which of course I didn't realize until about 15 minutes ago after we checked into the hotel for... you got it, one night. This means I will be homeless in Orlando as of 8am on Friday.

LOVELY.

So, if you find yourself in Orlando, specifically Disney World, and happen across a sweet, 30 year old (a little deranged), red-headed woman talking to Eyore... it's me. Come rescue me from the happiest place on earth.

The Night Harry Potter Stole My Innocence

I've been neglectful, it's true. But I've been SO busy... so that's my excuse. I have been thinking on all sorts of fun things that, honest to god, I really do intend to write about soon, but it just hasn't happened. Monday was my first full day off in February, and I spent most of it sleeping and eating and cleaning. Although I did work out... or did I? I can't remember now. Yeah, I'm gonna go with no, I did not work out. Golly and that was just yesterday.

Obviously my memory is a little slow.

As is my metabolism. I went to the doctor today and discovered that I am the heaviest I've ever been (with the exception of my first year in college - the freshman fifty you know! - oh wait, i think that was supposed to be fifteen). And while I'm not complaining, I am sort of lamenting what to do about my closet full of clothes that aren't fitting right and look terrible on me.

On a lighter note (always make fun of yourself!), I'm also the happiest I've been in a long time. I don't know if it is all the hard work I did at the therapist in 2008 or my attempts to bribe and brainwash 2009 into being a fantastic year, but something is different. And I'll take it while it lasts.

What isn't lasting is my youth and naivete. I learned something tonight about myself. I sort of discovered that I wasn't a teenager anymore and I'll never be a famous movie star. Stay with me on this. You see, I've spent the last two days catching up on Harry Potter movies I've missed over the past few years. And now that Harry's fifteen I thought tonight, gosh, he's cute; I'd date him. And then I realized. I'M THIRTY. I will never date Harry Potter because I'm TWICE HIS AGE. And not only that, I'm not famous, nor will I ever be, so how would I meet him anyway? I'll never be a movie star. I'll never be a young beautiful woman who gave a dazzling performance on the big screen and is now accepting her Oscar. Although truthfully (sorry, Harry), I never actually thought I'd marry a movie star. I always figured I'd marry someone normal and a little boring but who made me laugh and didn't mind raising our kids in my movie set trailer...

I know that seems ridiculous and a little narcissistic. But I think that until tonight I honestly thought I'd get "discovered" someday by someone who immediately saw my raw talent and dashing good looks. And tonight I realized that's not going to happen. I'll never be interviewed by Barbara Walters. I'll never be saving my parents the two best seats in the house for the musical I'm starring in on Broadway.

This was quite a blow, I tell you, quite a blow.

But despite my obesity (smile people, it's a joke) and my epiphany that I'll never be Nicole Kidman or Glen Close and the slow realization that all I've got is a house, some pets and a bottle of vodka, I'm taking it remarkably well.

Scratch the bottle of vodka. I forgot I'm giving up sugar and alcohol starting tomorrow morning.

So that's the scoop. I've been very busy getting fat and getting deflated. Ironic, I suppose. But the truth nonetheless.

Of course, if anyone important is reading this right now, and you want to scoop me up and escort me off to LA to film the next Moulin Rouge, that's okay too. I'd gladly revise this post and lose thirty pounds or thirty years for the role. :)

Trinity Street Players presents...

This weekend, in honor of Darwin's 200th Birthday (today!) and Baylor University's Science and Faith Conference that FBC will be hosting in September, and because the Texas legislature is still debating whether to add the un-scientific study of Creationism into our sceince textbooks, Trinity Street Players of First Baptist Church of Austin, TX will be presenting Inherit the Wind.

Show times are...
Friday, Feb. 13, 8pm childcare available
Saturday, Feb 14, 8pm
Sunday, Feb 15, 2pm childcare available
Friday, Feb. 20, 8pm childcare available
Saturday, Feb 21, 8pm
Sunday, Feb. 22, 8pm

Call 512-476-2625 to reserve your FREE tickets or just show up the night of a performance! Parking downtown is tricky so come early!

Amy Lauren

What would you willingly wake up early for on a Monday morning. And I mean early. Like 8am?

I'd wake up for my sister.

Knowing she would arrive at 11:30 that day, I was in work at 901 Trinity street by 9am. Ask the ladies of the office. They'll vouch. It was like a miracle. Bur the Pitts was coming in to town so I worked hard Sunday and Monday to get a lot of work done so when she arrived we could spend maximum free time together.

We fared pretty well. Of course, I had rehearsal three nights and church two nights of the four she was here, but other than that and a couple of hours here and there in the office, we got a lot of time together!

So what did we do, you ask?...

What we always do... eat, drink and shop.

It was glorious.

Day one we drove straight to church where we were hosting the annual Christian Life Commission Conference. But for lunch, we quickly headed to, you guess it, Amy's favorite restaurant in Austin, Opal Divine's. Ah... a little slice of heaven.


Amy wanted to see two people when she was in Austin: Amy and Michelle (and of course, Grant and Chris who go with those women). When probed further she added Frank and Jane & Bill to that list. We almost covered everyone.

Monday night after rehearsal, we ate dinner at Katz's and visited MoMo's where Grant & Amy's band were playing. We met up with Michelle and Chris and it was a fun, if late, evening.

Tuesday, Amy, Michelle and I worked out at the Y (love you steam room!) and then lunched at Zocola, a new restaurant for Michelle and Amy who loved the frozen sangrias.
Delicious, I agree. Then we crossed the street to one of the old time drug stores still in Austin and I bought, you guessed it mom and dad, a chocolate malt. And then shopping on SoCo! God, I love Austin. We grabbed coffee at Jo's and then headed to church. Dinner was eaten late when we picked up Parlor Pizza after rehearsal and returned home to watch Ocean's 13, a series of movies Amy and I love. Don't ask my why.

Wednesday Janie, Amy and I walked a little around the dog park on the Hike and Bike Trail and then joined Frankie for lunch at Moonshine (another of my to 5 Austin restaurants) which was glorious (love those Ruby Red Slippers).
After another short shopping spree (again on South Congress), I went to work where Amy and I heard one of my former and favorite professors speak about the war between faith and science and a spectrum of reactions to their relationship. Afterwards, we met Aaron Valentine, Mel Behrends and Chris minus Michelle at Vivo's for drinks and queso. Yea! for restaurants that put flowers in your drinks!



Thursday started off sad. The last day of having Amy or my mom or whomever in town always starts off a little sad... I have trouble having fun when I know it's the last day. And I always obsess over whether or not enough fun is being had. Thursday brought a good deal of time at work, despite what i tried to get done ahead of time. Fortunately, Amy brought her own work along. After rehearsal and then Beresheth, Amy was exhausted and we went home so she could pack. And for our final evening together, we crawled into my bed (which we share) and watched Bridget Jones' Diary. I was alarmed at how relevant it is to my life now that I've crossed over the Thirty mark, but it was still fun to watch. It always makes me feel a little bit better about my life. At least I don't have Bridget's public speaking problem...

Then again, I don't have her Colin Firth problem either.

Sigh.

So now Amy's gone and I'm lonely and sad and homesick, but still grateful. Always. For a wonderful family...

who should all move to Austin as soon as possible.

Wow, January

What a month.

I had high expectations, as you know. You'll remember the Funeral for 2008, here are some pics and also my favorite line from the Catholic Last Rites directions for flowers (which I gave since they were so powerful): Any giving should be for the living, who are in need, and the grave should be forgotten. Man, I suck at that.





As you'll recall, New Year's Eve I spent much time with Zorba at the animal hospital and despite the almost $500 I've spent in Vet fees this month (more on that later), I also was able to spend some time with, as Michelle puts it, my "besties." Here's Joy, Michi and I being silly putting on our best ever (why we haven't tired of this yet, I'll never know) "Joy face," the pouty look our community has agreed Joy's makes in most pictures she's in.



New Year's Day, I woke up with early for there were still two more parties to attend. A breakfast party with the Waco crew (who now all live in Austin) at Ren and Alicia's house...



And also a deep fried turkey lunch with some friends from church who happen to be the parents of one of my favorite babies, Bella.



It was a full day and 2009 had officially begun.

However, I put too much pressure on myself that first week of January and ended up crying twice at work. Oh well. Desperation would not get the best of me I determined, and despite lingering reminders that another bad year was only one tragedy away, I put my best foot forward and marched on toward week two.

...which consisted of aforementioned trips to the vet. Zorba's eye isn't healed. Janie has dried rice worms on her butt. Potter is sneezing and his eyes are leaking like Zorba's. Here's Janie's poop... etc.

Three vet visits and five medications later, my dog's worms and giardia are hopefully gone, Zorba's officially healed and well and Potter's fighting off the last few days of an upper respitory infection both he and Zorba caught. And speaking of catching things... "Use good hygiene," my vet suggested during our last conversation when he revealed the findings from the fecal sample. "Giardia's contagious to humans."

LOVELY.

Good thing I've been working out and keeping my antibodies high. Which brings us to week three: I'm a haus. Michelle and I have been working out at the Y (of which there is one ghetto-fied one near my house and one downtown). And since cedar is high and my allergies are awful (and I could catch a disease from my dog), I am able to make it through the treadmill and the weight lifting and that terrible monster of a machine you stand on and move your feet up and down on and practically fall off of the first time you get on it, only by rewarding myself with promises of the steam room at the end of the workout. I love it. I feel very healthy when my sweat (and terrible toxins hopefully) pour out of my body and drip to the floor. Sometimes I meditate which makes me feel healthy and holy. But most of the time I just try to sit quietly and pretend there aren't a bunch of middle aged men sitting in there with me. I love it.

Good thing too cause my therapist went on maternity leave.

I know, right?

Speaking of stress (the fun kind), we're doing another play at church. And because our director went out of town for two weeks (and only agreed to direct the show if I accepted that in advance), I've gotten to play a second hand at directing... which I love. Don't get me wrong, I love acting more. But I've found this new side of the theater, the side i often sat and observed from during much of my childhood, only this time, instead of my dad, I'm the director. And I love the concepts and the pictures formed and the character motivations and the mannerisms and the tone and the angles and the big picture. I love seeing the scenes come together to become a piece of art, a fluid, methodical piece of art.

It's fun. Oh, and it's Inherit the Wind. Just in time for the Texas state legislature to vote on whether or not to change the wording on some document that would essentially allow creationism to be taught in the classroom. At the beginning of the play, under Time and Place the author writes: any town, any time... and it's so true. I just with it wasn't true in Texas.

So that's January. In a nutshell.

Oh, and did I mention we got a new president? :)

Whoa.

Q: What is christianity?

A: It is the belief that a two-thousand-year-old jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple off a magical tree in a wonderland.

Well, that's one way to put it...

Letters From Kids To Mr. President

Oh my gosh. I can't wait to have kids. Did you guys see this article in the NY Times on the opinion page? Awesome. How amazing would it be to be Barack Obama and receive these notes? Here's my favorite letter...

Dear Sir Obama,

These are the first 10 things you should do as president:

1. Make everyone read books.
2. Don’t let teachers give kids hard homework.
3. Make a law where kids only get one page of homework per week.
4. Kids can go visit you whenever they want.
5. Make volunteer tutors get paid.
6. Let the tutors do all the thinking.
7. Make universities free.
8. Make students get extra credit for everything.
9. Give teachers raises.
10. If No. 4 is approved, let kids visit the Oval Office, but don’t make it boring.

— Mireya Perez, age 8, San Francisco

Where Will You Be Tomorrow?

Oh my gosh. I just watched this on my friend PoshPants' blog and LOVED it. So I'm reposting it here. Enjoy and smile.


Fifty People, One Question: Brooklyn from Crush + Lovely on Vimeo.

Who Holds Israel Accountable?

"In Ireland, my favourite journalistic justification for this bloodbath came from my old mate Kevin Myers. 'The death toll from Gaza is, of course, shocking, dreadful, unspeakable,' he mourned. 'Though it does not compare with the death toll amongst Israelis if Hamas had its way.' Get it? The massacre in Gaza is justified because Hamas would have done the same if they could, even though they didn't do it because they couldn't. It took Fintan O'Toole, The Irish Times's resident philosopher-in-chief, to speak the unspeakable. 'When does the mandate of victimhood expire?' he asked. 'At what point does the Nazi genocide of Europe's Jews cease to excuse the state of Israel from the demands of international law and of common humanity?' "

It bothers me that our bent in reporting and in placing judgments on the Middle East and specifically in Gaza seems favor Israel. I think it's dishonest. I admit that I don't understand what's going on over there. It's extremely complicated. But from what I can gather there is no flat out good guy and no flat out bad guy. It's like watching The Dark Knight. Only worse. And who you're listening to determines who should be held accountable for their irresponsible, defiant and self-centered actions.

I risk pissing off two of my closest friends and my vet by saying these things, but the excerpt from an article above sums up how i'm inclined to feel about Israel right now.

I hope that doesn't make me Anti-Semitic (kind of like I hoped criticizing America's decision to put her thumb on top of Iraq by going to war with her didn't make me Anti-American). I hope it just makes me honest. The violence needs to end no matter who thinks who started it because it's like all the fights you had with your little sister growing up. There was never any ending and never any beginning. Once that child was birthed the disagreements began and no one is really to blame. But there comes a time for everyone to leave home and go off to college and discover that low and behold she does actually love her sister and misses her and her sister feels the same. So much so that they decide to work on getting along better when they are actually at home and living together under one roof. And that is a miracle. The miracle of growing up.

So you know what Israelis (and Palestinians)? Grow up. Grow up. You live in the same land. Deal with it. Figure out you actually love your sisters and brothers and if you don't, you need to. It's way past time you learned how to get along.

New Year

I like to post music videos when I think they're uber good or when they relate to a holiday. So in honor of New Year's, here's New Year by one of my favorite bands, Death Cab for Cutie.

Guess Who's Back?

My friends Patrick and Angela!



You may remember them because they were the first couple I ever "married." They had a beautiful outdoor wedding in June, 2006 at Chapel Dulcinea where Pete and Joy were married the summer before. (Yes, they were warm weddings!)

Pat and Ang left for Peru several months after their wedding to join the Peace Corps. While there they did peace corpsy thingys like build toilets, teach kids about geography and try not to get eaten by scorpions.

Anyway, they're back. Angela's working at Safe Place again and Patrick just got a job with Animal Trustees. (Yes, in case going into the Peace Corps and sticking it out for two years didn't signal that they are amazing people, their chosen vocations should!).

Speaking of animals, Zorba is doing better, but isn't healed yet, which is giving me anxiety. I may have to call Dr. B. Dr. B, you remember is my vet, whom Patrick used to work for and whom I began seeing (well, my pets began seeing) after Radley died and I adopted Potter from the dumpster with all of his dumpster diseases.

Okay, long story short, they're back and I got to hang out with them Friday night! It was awesome and I'm thrilled to hang with them again after a two year hiatus.



Hurray for friends!

Speaking of Professions... Awkward Moment of the Week

So i spent most of yesterday at the hospital hanging out with a student who's mom was in surgery. While we were playing cards, "B*llsh*t" i believe, some relatives of the woman in surgery came over to say good-bye to us. THey'd been sitting with her grandmother.

After the formal introductions, and upon hearing of my vocation, the couple began telling me of their daughter who went to seminary in the 80s and then was hired to be a singles and senior adult minister and wasn't that weird? and their daughter-in-law was a receptionist once at FBC in waco. yes i knew the church, my own seminary met in their building for several years before we got on own on baylor campus...

blah blah, the usual. but then this woman says,

"Well, I'll be praying for you. Ministers do hard work dealing with us." I glance over at Donna and Kelly (these are pseudonyms) who both go to my church (and are therefore my "parishioners"), trying to discern where this conversation was going.

"Yeah, it's hard dealing with all us stubborn sheep. We're just wandering around all stubborn, I know. So I'll pray for you. You're doing good work."

I giggled nervously. "But I like my job and the people I work with." The woman went on and on about how she knows but she also knows sheep go their own way and ministers have to take care of all of them...

Um... "Thank you." I said finally hoping she's stop talking.

And the couple left. Thank God. My two friends burst out laughing and I began apologizing profusely.

"I'm so sorry that woman called you sheep and called you stubborn! I don't think of you like that, I promise!"

"It's okay," Kelly said, "I know I'm no walk around the park. Besides she was probably just commenting on me since I'm her niece and I have no manners."

"But y'all do as much ministering to me as I do to you!" We laughed some more.

Either way, the three of us agreed that that was the most awkward conversation: one woman expressing her theology while putting one person on the spot and offending everyone else.

Hmm. Maybe it wasn't so uncommon after all.

And we returned to playing cards.

You're In the Wrong Profession

What would you do?

What would you do if someone told you you were in the wrong profession?

Not because you messed up or failed at something or whatever. Rather, because you were gifted at something else. What would you do if your gifts didn't match your profession?

Someone asked me that tonight and i didn't know what to say. Probably because the economy is crappy and one of my friends just lost her job (take that all you people who keep reporting that jobs are up in austin), and because i don't have a savings account and i'm freaking out, and because many people my age are having babies and not really worrying about "what they want to be when they grew up."

So what would you say to someone who told you they were in the wrong profession? What would you say in 2009? The year of frugality? They year of opportunity?

Would you have told her, go for it?
Would you have said, do something practical?
Would you have said, stick with the job and the money, life's unpredictable?
Or would you have said, do what you like, what makes you happy ... honey, go for it.

That's what my parents say. I tried to stir the waters a bit when I was at home for Christmas. I announced in the car after my parents and i'd been out for a movie (Emily had a party and we were "excused" from the home front). "I'm considering going to opera school," I announced.

"That's great," mom replied. "Whatever makes you happy."

Please. I just said it to get a reaction. Perhaps like the person who told me the "wrong profession" comment.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd like to go to school for opera, but really. I'm too old to go pursuing whimsical fantasies.

So what would you tell this woman, blog world? Cause Lord knows I don't have all the answers.

What would you say if someone told you, "You're in the wrong profession"?

True Love Lasts A Lifetime... Sometimes

Considering the divorce rate in America is 41% (for first marriages), this article was a little nugget of encouragement. Of course, it was only 10% encouraging which I guess means its 90% discouraging, but still. It's 2009 and I'm clinging to the 10%... and to my imaginary boyfriend named Bob. We've been off and on since High School.

I actually had a teacher ask me about him once when I came back to visit her when I was in college.

That's not right.

But... that's my life. Sometimes he buys me imaginary flowers.

10% chance. 10% chance. 10% chance.

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

:)

Cute and Caring

These fifth graders are starting the year off right, saving the world one kid and one car at a time. Understanding that they "couldn't tell parents to buy Hybrid cars cause they're too expensive," they're helping the environment by asking parents instead not to idle their cars in the long line waiting to pick up students after school. What a great idea, boys. Cheers to you for caring!

This made me think: where do i sit idly? At the bank teller window when I deposit checks! At sonic when I'm getting a chocolate cherry coke (only when i'm feeling nostalgic)! So thanks 5th graders at Casis Elementary School! I'm changing my behavior because of you. You are making a difference!

Saying Good-bye and Good Riddance

2008 did not go gentle into the good night, that's for sure.

It went kicking and screaming.

As if to make a point that 2008 was indeed a year to be feared, and maybe even to up the ante to replace 2005 as the worst year of all time, 2008 threw curve balls right up until the last second.

So after driving 12 and a half hours back to Austin from Missouri, I saw flashing lights behind me. Yes, in Austin, after I turned off my cruise control and was cruising to my house, not five miles away from my destination and closing down the 1400 mile trip, I got a speeding ticket. Crap. Thanks 2008. All the money I saved not buying a plane ticket will now go to the City of Austin cause some cop needed to make quota and I was on auto pilot.

New Year's Eve arrived, one of my favorite holidays of the year (the symbolism of turning over a new leaf, a new year is VERY important to me if you haven't figured that out yet) and I held a funeral service for 2008 in my back yard.

Because we still had a few hours left, I performed last rites over the year. And instead of the year confessing it's final sins, we funeral attendees wrote our sin, sadness we felt in 08, evil that happened to us or friends... stuff like that, on pieces of paper that we then threw into the small bonfire and burned. It was lovely. Then we went inside and wrote things in 09 that we are looking forward to including Pete & Joy's baby, Zoe, Chris & Michelle's baby "L," a new play (Inherit the Wind) at church, a Chile Mission Trip, etc. We put those papers in the center of the table and took turns picking one out, reading it out loud, and then cheering and toasting it with champagne and sparking grape juice. Finally, we planted a few new cacti in a flower pot and the service was over. We went our separate ways to prepare for the evening's festivities.

I went to the Animal Hospital. Because although the very sick 2008 had received it's last rites, as i mentioned before, it would not go gently into the good night. With 10 minutes until my vet closed, Zorba came inside the house covered in leaves with a swollen eye that was leaking fluid. I spent the next two and half hours at the animal hospital trying to ignore the urine smell and straining to read the subtitles on Pirates of the Carribean playing in the waiting room from the examination room Zorby and I had been put in. And because there were two emergencies that came in around that same time, Zorba had to wait. Consequently I had to wait. And wait and wait. I threatened to go home and just wait there for my vet to re-open on Jan 2, but Zorba's nurse threatened that my cat might lose his eye. So we stayed. And 2008 just smirked.

Two and a half hours (and a full movie) later, we left for home. Zorba threw up and then pooped on himself in the car.

I was cleaning that up when I realized that not making concrete plans for New Year's but rather "maybe meeting up" with about four or five separate groups of people may mean that I wasn't going to actually have any plans for New Year's. Fortunately, my best friends the Gold-Johnsons knew my diress and said, "Lines be damned we're going to Hyde Park Bar & Grill." There were no lines though and with our tummies filled with delicious food and bloody mary's (except for Michelle who's pregnant), we met with with the also pregnant Pete & Joy at Epoch and then on we went to the Gallagher's whom P & J hadn't seen since they returned from Israel.

An hour later with champagne in hand, Johnson gave a beautiful toast about years and memories, and it was poetic, but i don't remember a single word of it, and then 3-2-1, 2008 gasped it's last few breaths and then... was... gone. Gone.

Thank God.

And 2009 left our imaginations and entered into our lives. 2009.

2009. Welcome. I will bless you if you bless me. And maybe if we promise to get along, your last rites won't be so painful in 12 months. Cause that's all you get. 12 months. So let's make the most of it, okay?

January 1, 2009 This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.

RIP 2008.

Year In Review by Uncle Jay