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Friday, March 24, 2006

And she's gone.

Sigh. It's quiet. I'm not nervous. I'm not working and worrying about entertaining. I'm just being me. Quietly, by myself.

Actually that's not true. I went to a bird sanctuary with a rich friend who wants to buy a $1300 bird. I'd pay off my credit card with that money personally, but whatever. The bird can speak up to 2000 words and has the intelligence of a 5 year old. Why you'd want to spend 75 years living with a five year old is beyond me, but then again, I live with a cat who bites like a pitbull, so who am I to judge?

Tonight I work. Children's worship retreat and I'm in the music rotation. Tomorrow I work: rehearsal for next week's college worship. And Sunday I'm up in worship. Lots of worship going on here folks. You'd think I'd be more holy.

But I'm not. Mother can atest to that. I get cranky and snappy and short-tempered like the best of them. And I worry and get sad and can't let things go. And I date people that shock my family and believe things that shock my friends. What of that is sinful and what of that is just different, I don't know.

I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.

But she's gone. Having left here, she's arriving somewhere else.

Just like I should be, I guess.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

be happy....please

Ann said...

i am happy, just contemplative.

Anonymous said...

As one Roger Paynter said tonight, "Our work, our life is about being perplexed."